I Think You Must Be Depressed To Understand Depression

1.I'm fat and look disgusting

2. I'm different from my family.

3. I hate living at home but my job doesn't pay enough to afford anywhere else.

4. I am struggling to learn how to drive, I've had 3 lessons and I'm not making progress.

5. I declared a mental health day today to help me cope with this crap

6. I have THE CPA exam to sit in late August and I haven't been studying

7. I feel useless and purposeless at my job.

8. I hate than I'm 25 soon and haven't ever had a long term relationship with a guy.

9. I don't get along well with my other siblings.

10. I have lost interest in hanging out and doing the things I once enjoyed.

11. I am questioning the "friends" I have at work.

12. I don't have good male role models around.

13. I sometimes go outta my way to make others feel good and welcomed because I know what it's like to feel like ostracized.

14. I feel like I'll never be successful enough to repay my mom for everything she's ever done for me and its killing me.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

bluSpark · 36-40, M

All the things she is describing are clear signs of depression. And let me clear any stigma about it. It's not a one size fits all disease. It effects everyone differently. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I know my symptoms. My triggers. I have strategies in place to cope and balance my emotitions. What she needs understanding and help. When you are depressed. Your thoughts control you. It's not sadness or th weepies either. Depression doesn't make us weak. Depression is looking through dark lens and seeing the world in a negative way. Just the other day and event triggered an episode of apathy. I got so numb that I couldn't feel myself or anything around me. Everything become so surreal. It didn't feel real. But I tried explaining what was happening to me to my ex because she was yelling and screaming at me to get up. Sometimes it's hard to move and concentrate when it's bad. But she didn't want to hear it. So that fucking hurt real bad. That didn't help with the numbness. It got worse. I know how you feel. @itwontlast you can get help. Thank you so much for sharing. I came on here looking for others and understanding and maybe a support system. As a fellow depressive we are in this together. We need to let others know that we don't want to feel like we do when we are at are worst. When we smile in your face when ask how we are doing. But inside we are in so much pain. When you are dismissive because you can't understand why we are withdrawn and uninterested. We are going through hell on the inside. Thank you .

MidknightMischief · 41-45, M

@bluSpark the numbness /surreal state you describe is a dissociative star. It’s what the mind does to protect against the stress that comes with boredom. My advice to make a list 15 things she is grateful for will benefit her or anyone in that state. I am all too familiar with depression.

bluSpark · 36-40, M

I agree to an extent. Mine wasn't based on boredom. with all due respect you are coming from a place of good intentions. Neither of us know her thought process and what stories her mind was telling we during her events. But I will tell you that when I experienced apathy it was indeed a mechanism to protect me from receiving more stress. But not based on boredom. I felt helplessness and complete isolation. And those feelings were not brought on by no reason. There indeed many reasons. But the worst feeling to me is feeling like your alone in your struggle and losing yourself. Again these are my personal experiences I'm sharing. I have a complex history. Anyways. Ultimately, it's up to her to find what best works for her. The best part is. Depression is highly treatable.

MidknightMischief · 41-45, M

I said boredom as an example of a type of stressor, I should have added “etc” after. I hear what you are saying, my suggestion is in line, in part, with the standard of care for depression. Focusing on the negative prolongs depression, and anxiety for that matter. The best advice I can give is to go see her therapist. But, you are right, none of us knows what she is/has experienced. Was only hoping to help.

bluSpark · 36-40, M

We were both trying to help. Hey let us both come with open understanding. After all that's why we are here. To support each other.

MidknightMischief · 41-45, M

@bluSpark well said. Sorry if I offended, was not my intention. I know depression is hard to live with, let alone overcome. Most don’t understand that it truly can be debilitating.

bluSpark · 36-40, M

It's ok. I got touchy a little bit. Yes are are right. Some days the pain can be too much. As far as I know. There hasn't been a way to cure us. Sorry. A little hard to concentrate.

MidknightMischief · 41-45, M

@bluSpark No worries. SSRI’s and NDRI’s can be very help full. The latter does not interfere with libido usually.

bluSpark · 36-40, M

@MidknightMischief that's my initial concern. If pills is right for me. Some of the folks I talked to tell me the medications just masks the pain. Or take away your personality.

MidknightMischief · 41-45, M

They can give you a break from the depression while you work the depression in therapy. It’s not easy but the rx do help.

bluSpark · 36-40, M

Has the process been difficult?