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I Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression

I was with the most loving, selfless, beautiful woman who I was proud to call my wife. My self hatred led to depression and anger. Fear of not being good enough. Why would she want to be with me? I’m fat, ugly, and stupid. I don’t want to go out I’m no fun. Of course she’s cheating on me! I gave into that anger and it cost me my marriage. I worked on myself and a wonderful thing happened 4 years later she came back into my life. She loves me so much and I know she does. I want to do everything differently but there’s a problem. That dark shadow is lurking in the corner again and it’s scaring me.
SoFine · 46-50, F
In long-term relationships we trigger each other. We trigger those insecurities we have not healed.

1. Till you heal you, you will get triggered over and over. That saying "are you upset for the reason that you think you are" or some similar reminder of an old hurt.
2. We are mirrors of each other, those aspects you don't like about you,you will react to them in other people when they display that behavior.
3. Then forgive your folks, your parents for behavior that you inherited. Yes, monkey see, monkey do. Dysfunctional family life, is normal, to break the cycle takes a willing to step back from reactions to situations.
4. To forgive your self, those behaviors you did to you and your loved ones.
5. Build up your self worth, your self love. You are you're happiness, to seek this in a wife, your children, they can support you, they can't fill you with your self love.

You indeed are the key to your happiness, then catch you before you let fly in anger or rage. We can go for a walk or walk from a situation, then return when we have calmed down. Never discuss life issues when you are upset. Do only when in a calm mood.

You validate you
You complete you

To be
To be happy as you...
TheCensoredBrot · 31-35, M
You managed to conquer it once. You can do it again
tj786100 · 51-55, M
Good that you recognize it. Talk with a counselor of some sort- she sounds worth fighting for!

 
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