I Battle Depression and Anxiety
It's been getting really bad lately. When I was little and I was anxious I would start rubbing my head and biting my knuckles. Now I scratch. I'm so used to my anxiety, though, that I don't even realize what's happening anymore until I look down and my hands are bloody messes. And I'm cutting myself off from people again and regretting waking up in the morning. And completely dissociating from the day to the point where I'm losing whole days at a time. I used to just suffer emotionally, but it's starting to take on a physical toll, too. My entire body aches and my head pounds like my life depends on it. My vision is getting blurry, lights are obnoxiously bright. I can't sleep. I just want it to end. I'm not going to do anything, at least not tonight. But I just need someone in my life, my home life, to tell me something more than just "it gets better". I need someone to help me see everything I am. Because right now I am alone.