I Battle Depression

Everyday, all my life. Some days are better than others, but it's always there. Like now. I just feel like Life is passing me by. I'm stuck sitting here, with no one, day in and day out. All I have are my dogs, my cat, and the internet. I'm always waiting on someone else to come do something with me, take me to get my shopping done, or just to have company. I'm sick of waiting. Sick of my summer passing me by and not getting to do the things I like to do. I'm sick of having only one friend...she has a life outside of mine. I wish I had other friends that wanted to do stuff with me. But it is what it is I guess. That itself is depressing.

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Wolfdancer · 56-60, F

Some just don't understand depression and think that it's a good motivational speaker, or you just need to do this or that or think like this or that....until YOU ARE IN THAT PLACE, none of those so called solutions help. For me, while I can enjoy my alone time, I don't like to feel isolated or that there is nothing to look forward to the next day or the day after that and when that continues for a week or more, then I start to lose it. Internet connections don't cut it for me. I need tangible people. The past two days have been better. My former upstairs tenant called today...so miss that gay boy! He wants to borrow my canoe. And thus is taking me to get some shopping supplies. Just talking with him was so nice! Not TEXTING! My neighbor friend, came over for coffee this morning and she's been wonderful lately, washed my picture window for me, fills my bird feeder and waters my porch plants. Because that is what I look at all day long. Today she mowed my front yard. I offered to pay her and she was like no, I just enjoy your company! I said ty, you've been my sanity the past couple of days as well! Then tonight, that gf of mine FINALLY CALLED (a week later). I talked her out of cancelling the camping trip. AMEN. So its not as many days but that's better than nothing! We had some good real conversation and laughter. I needed that. Then I was out on the porch with my dogs (first I've been able to get them out myself) and one of my daughters friends drove by. She stopped to visit. That just made my day even better! It's the small things that mean so much and make such a huge difference. Some people just can't understand and that's okay too! Consider yourself lucky if you don't, because that means you haven't had to feel that darkness of depression. Much different than sadness.