I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

I don't think most people realise just how bad I feel sometimes. Sometimes I'm great, and most of the time I'm just at my (low) baseline. But occasionally, everything hits me at once, and I can feel things crumbling around me, on top of me. While I'm no longer actively thinking about harming myself, it can feel like I'm on the verge of that sort of thought pattern when things get like this.

I feel invisible. I feel in the way. I feel like it would be best for everyone if I wasn't around. I may not actively want to die any more, but I do feel a whole lot like it would have been better if I'd never existed at all.

Sorry.