I Have Depression, Anxiety, and Self-mutilation Issues

Clean... If there is one thing in this world she can do to calm herself down when she is feeling like she is about to fall to the ground and die is to take the faucet in the tub and turn the water on as hot as it will go and stand in the water and take a shower. She scrubs furiously. Scrubbing off everything that happened that day. Scrubbing off waking up, scrubbing off going to school, scrubbing off math and science, scrubbing off lunch and music lessons. Scrubbing until she is completely bare and until she is nothing. The water pelts her skin and turns it red but she doesnt care. She feels comfort in that warm/hot blanket. She feels the hot water pouring against her back and running down her head to her toes, watching as the water runs down the drain taking all of the memories with it. Every last detail of every last memory that happened that day, being shoved down the drain as if it is nothing. Because it is nothing. It is just bad memories that need to be wiped out and shoved away. Unfortunately she has to wake up the next day to face the future memories again. But she can take her shower and scrub until she is nothing and until she is clean.