I Battle Depression

It's hard. It's hard trying to escape what you are. I've been doing it for 19 years. I've been trying to run away from my mom but I can't. I can't escape the memory of her, no matter how hard I try. I'm a spitting image of her. She was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.I was diagnosed at 18. The only colors my mom has are red, black, and blue. She gets so depressed, she'll cry and cry and cry. Then she'll go on to her rants because something will set her off and she will scream and boy did she have a pair of lungs on her.then she gets suicidal. I can't begin to tell you how many times she has tried to kill herself, and how many time she has ended up in the psych ward. I'm just like her you know. I go into rants, I cry every day, I cut myself; that's my drug.her drug is alcohol, pills. My dad is baked her to stop but the drugs voices are louder than my dads, my dad's voice is just a whisper compared to the drugs.it's scary when I look in the mirror and I see her face because I know that I am my mother and I can't get away from it, we are the same person even though I haven't spoken to her in years I know she's still with me because I am her, my dad always compares me to her and tells me how he doesn't want me to end up like her but it's too late.