I Battle Depression

Distorted... Interesting how when we are in a dissociative state, everything looks different. The whole room doesn't look familiar anymore. It looks like a room you have never been in before. That's how she sees things at least when she is like this. She just sits on the floor and stares at everything trying to make sense of it all. It seems like she has been there before but nothing looks familiar. Everything looks out of shape. The walls look like they are melting and the blanket looks like the waves of an ocean moving back and forth. She hears everything. Everynoise, even her own heartbeat if she listens closely enough. She can hear her family talking in different rooms but she can't understand anything they are saying. It sounds gibberish. But still she tries to listen. At this point, she feels nothing; not happiness, no hope, no horror, no saddness. She's just a ventriloquist doll. Being completely out of her own control, and being controlled by something she can't see, but she can completely feel. When that feeling gets heavy enough, she becomes numb. She then has to sit. Her legs have lost all ability to stand. All of the energy that she had that day was taken from her like water going down a drain. Eventually, she will just sit there and not move. Just sitting, breathing, and bl<x>inking. Then after it seems forever has past, she will start moving her eyes slowly around the room without physically moving. It is at this point everything looks distorted.