I Battle Depression

...and this is the reason I don’t tell my husband that I’m feeling depressed. He says “You don’t seem happy when I get home from work.” He takes it personal, he thinks it’s got something to do with him. He knows I’m not acting normally. He will try to ‘fix’ it and when he can’t it will become his own personal failure. Like ‘I can’t make you happy so you must not love me.’ Instead of just being supportive it will become a battle between us. ...I hate this.

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Livingwell · 61-69, M

I can understand both sides. He loves you and it hurts so see someone you live suffer. You just want his support but his natural instinct is to protect. And it hurts you when he feels like a failure. Maybe some counseling can provide the tools for him to understand how to deal with your depression and not take it personally. Just a thought. I hope you find a solution.

Mert5356 · 41-45, M

It is, of course, one within yourself. I have it myself and maintain much of it from others. I know it is not good and it must not be done, but still it is done. I seek personal help from social media, counseling, and groups.

CareBear420 · 36-40, F

@Mert5356 I’ve been using this website to let some of my feeling out. I’m not sure if it’s helping or not but the responses I’ve gotten have been very kind and that’s made me feel a bit better.

Cheesecake · 61-69, M

It's a natural instinct for some of us to want to fix our loved ones' troubles. A hard thing to unlearn too. Explain it to him. I'm sure he'll want to understand. Good luck.

CareBear420 · 36-40, F

@Cheesecake He’s a great husband but this is one area I don’t want to bother him with. He works so hard for us. I don’t want to add any troubles to his already full plate.

Cheesecake · 61-69, M

@CareBear420 you're clearly a very considerate wife. You're a team though. It might actually be helpful for him to have a better understanding of how you're feeling. Just my take on it. Not wishing to interfere. I wish you both well.

sometimeslonelytoo · 51-55, M

Depression perhaps? Never an easy thing for those who have it or those who love them.

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sometimeslonelytoo · 51-55, M

@CareBear420 Sorry to hear about the miscarriage. Glad it's so much better now :)

CareBear420 · 36-40, F

@sometimeslonelytoo Thank you kindly.:)

sometimeslonelytoo · 51-55, M

Reading genuine stories and offering support, connecting, is what I'm here for, mostly, so you are welcome, my friend.

melbeacher · 56-60, M

Men are fixers. We want to try to fix things. I think I would be doing the same thing. You should try telling him that it is not his fault....if it truly isnt.

sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M

uh, honesty is respect.

you can't keep doing this to him.

CareBear420 · 36-40, F

@sighmeupforthat I’m not disrespecting him by keeping this to myself. I’m keeping him from driving himself crazy trying to fix me. I dont hide things from him, he knows I’ve been down lately. I just haven’t actively addressed the issue. There’s nothing I’m ‘doing to him’ besides keeping him from being distracted from work/life with worrying about me.

benhailin · 41-45, M

sounds like a miscommunication error..🤗 which is quite common between couples

This message was deleted by its author.

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LynnUK · 46-50, F

@CareBear420 no matter how big or steady the Rock, sometimes the littlest pebble beside it can make it fall if it's displaced, but it does sound like your good for each other sending you both

CareBear420 · 36-40, F

@LynnUK Thank you❤️

Cheesecake · 61-69, M

@LynnUK done, thanks. Doh! 😟

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