I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday
I don't know how it started, I just know that I'm here now, and it feels like it's too late.
I remember in high school is when things got really bad, I was lonely and lost, inflicting self-harm, and lost in a world of suicidal thoughts and actions. I was left untreated for years before I finally was forced to get help after being put in the mental ward. After I graduated, I was sure these feelings would go away. I thought I felt better for awhile, but it seems that was just a period of mild mania. I'm about to start my second year of college, and all the same thoughts have begun to resurface. I don't know where I am, who I am, or who I should be. I've lost nearly all of my friends from back home, and I haven't made any new ones since I got here. All of the people that I think care about me end up throwing me away, like I'm useless and unimportant. I'm clinging on to fewer and fewer reasons to keep myself alive.
.............................
I hate when people use the word depression so freely as if it's a common emotion, like anger or happiness. Depression is a lifestyle, and it never goes away. No matter how much better and more positive you begin to feel, depression will be there, watching you from a distance, waiting for the perfect opportunity to sneak back into your life again.
I remember in high school is when things got really bad, I was lonely and lost, inflicting self-harm, and lost in a world of suicidal thoughts and actions. I was left untreated for years before I finally was forced to get help after being put in the mental ward. After I graduated, I was sure these feelings would go away. I thought I felt better for awhile, but it seems that was just a period of mild mania. I'm about to start my second year of college, and all the same thoughts have begun to resurface. I don't know where I am, who I am, or who I should be. I've lost nearly all of my friends from back home, and I haven't made any new ones since I got here. All of the people that I think care about me end up throwing me away, like I'm useless and unimportant. I'm clinging on to fewer and fewer reasons to keep myself alive.
.............................
I hate when people use the word depression so freely as if it's a common emotion, like anger or happiness. Depression is a lifestyle, and it never goes away. No matter how much better and more positive you begin to feel, depression will be there, watching you from a distance, waiting for the perfect opportunity to sneak back into your life again.
