@SW-User I've been depressed so long that I don't even remember what started it. I didn't have a traumatic event or anything. I just know that eventually got to a point somehow where I was changing. I wasn't interested in anything anymore, I was spending most of the day sleeping, and I felt like I couldn't rely on anyone that could help me. To make myself feel better I would steal my dad's medicine out of the cabinet and mix it with whatever else was in there. (around 100 pills at a time)I would swallow them all at once, and the next day I would feel faint and horribly sick, but I kept doing it anyway because it made me feel something other than numb. I did this until my dad found out what I was doing. Then I turned to cutting. ( I still have a lot of scars left). My mom found out that I was cutting, so I started hanging out with a few people who I could smoke and drink with, again to be able feel something other than the numbing sadness. But then once while I was smoking (turns out it was laced) I completely broke down and threatened to run into traffic. Police were called, and I got put in the mental hospital. After that, I felt better for a while but then relapsed and gave myself a lot of deep cuts after someone broke my heart. Since then, I haven't cut myself, but for a little while I was abusing pain medication left over from my surgery.
That was about a year ago though, and I haven't hurt myself since.
But lately I've been feeling the need to put myself on edge like that again.