I Am Depressed

This year has been so difficult and I've practically had no one to help me through it, and it's going to get worse and I'll still have no one. I don't know how to keep pushing forward when I see no point in anything. I'm useless at everything. People say they'll support you and make you feel better but then they leave and you're left broken and alone. All I see around me are happy and joyful people and I can't stand it because I feel miserable and I just wish someone would care. I know it sounds selfish. Even thinking about xmas coming and all of these cheery people and decorations everywhere and music makes me want it all to end already or just never come at all because it's too much. I don't care about anything. I just want everything to stop. It's moving too fast. I'm so, so scared and there's no one to tell me it will be okay. No one. I don't get it.