I Am Depressed Because I'm Lonely

I always grew up by myself and i never played that much with the other girls.i was always extremely independent i didn't give a care in the world and then he got sick(my dad) so i was just the third wheel i don't smile and if i do it's fake i won't tell i am doing bad i will always OK like why bother i lost lot's i became a true monster.

but no one notice they thought i was fine but really a was depressed one point i was and still am spending most of my time in my room. I gave up being friendly to kids and sometimes adults.i lost most of confidence because of my oma (grandma in dutch) she was sweet when i was a kid but when she got divorced all she did was yell at me i never fought back because no matter what i said she yelled i give up showing my true self i became addicted to music it was my escape.

In my opinion god has made my days rough and i don't believe i will be happy at school it's fake smile and laughs and ok's. i gave and i don't want help so please just read this story well my story and think wow life will get better even if it don't seem's like that for many.

don't be a snob an pity i can fight my own battles i just want a friend i know i can trust and not hide who i am.