I Am Depressed

I self harmed today, for the first time in months! A girl I liked made a deal she wouldn't if I didn't and she did. So I didn't see the point of trying so hard for someone who couldn't be bothered to try for me. So I just did it because I wanted to and she was the only thing stopping me, and now it's 1.40am I'm bleeding and have work in 6 hours yay!