I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday

I used to think I could deny it and fake myself into happiness but I can't anymore. I've been through doctor's, I've been through there useless drugs. I wake up, get bitched at. Go to work, get bitched at. Come home to get bitched at. Yet I never show how upset I am. I'm always nice, too ******* nice. I don't think I can despise people more than I do now. Life aint worth it if you have no one to slog through it with, and god ******* knows I'm alone. He's known for years yet I can't keep a girl to save my ******* life. Wake up, get my daily dose of "your not good enough," say one thing wrong to the 40th girl, want to cry but all I can do is get angrier, smoke just to get more upset. That's my life. I'm tired..so very tired

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Stargasm

Who's doing all this bitching at you?

MildlyMagiclessMinotaur · 26-30, M

Lol, anyone. Mostly my parents that expect the world..I just can't fucking deliver. And when it's at work it's my fucking useless ass co-workers. Even though I'm doing a perfectly fine job and they should mind there own fucking shit. They all mad cause they all got PHD's in fast food

Stargasm

Lol then that's their own problem. As a parent with two kids and different perspectives, id say, depending on their comments, there's a reason behind it. Look behind it their words about what it is.
And they taught you, I get frustrated when my kid doesn't simply bring something back to the kitchen as I
Use to, but hell, did I teach him that when he was a toddler? Nope.. That's on me. Hopefully as myself he'll 'shape up' -my room was a wreck growing up- not anymore-

MildlyMagiclessMinotaur · 26-30, M

I know the reason. They've been trying to beat me into a good person from day one. All well and good, I needed it. But I'm fucking sick of it now. They are under the impression I'm still young and stupid and need direction and life lessons. They will never understand how wrong they are. I wised up at 16.