I Am Depressed

I'm so tired of everything. I don't even know how I feel anymore because sometimes I feel too much so intensely and other times I just don't feel anything at all, sort of like I'm floating around other people as they live their lives and move forwards whilst I'm stuck in one place wishing I could go back and have everything be like it used to. I haven't been truly happy in months. I'm not sure I want to be happy again because it would just feel weird when I've been miserable for so long. All I can see ahead of me is darkness that creeps closer. My life is falling apart. I have no future. I'm not good at anything. I can't do what society expects me to do. Everyone has turned against me and I'm so, so lost. People keep reminding me that it's my birthday soon and I wish they wouldn't because I don't care one bit. I'm not interested. I'm not interested in anything. I don't even know if I'm truly depressed but I know I feel like shit and I'm starting to isolate myself more and more from the world because it's too much effort and I'm becoming completely helpless. I'm basically a failure at life. 😓

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MalenudistUK · 56-60, M

I too have suffered in the past with depression and felt as if I did not fit in the world. At one stage i contemplated suicide. I suppose that when I was at my lowest I decided to do something about it. I went to my doctor and he put me on anti depressants and recommended a councilor. I tried both and found that the pills did not work for me and changed councilors 3 times until i felt comfortable to open up. In the end I feel it was me who cured myself through self healing and learning who I am. I wish you all the best on your journey and don't give up. It is hard.

wordsiheldback · 26-30, F

@MalenudistUK I'm sorry you went through all of that but it's good you helped yourself to get better. And thanks! :)

GentleJoe · 61-69, M

You know this can be a physical chemical imbalance that might be helped with proper medication. Not all depression stems from the emotions. But, once you're in it, it can become very, very hard to escape. I hope you go see a doctor.

wordsiheldback · 26-30, F

@GentleJoe it's difficult for me to go and seek help as I struggle with social anxiety which sucks :( but yeah, it's going to be difficult to get out of this.

GentleJoe · 61-69, M

@wordsiheldback Please find a friend or relative to make the appointment and accompany you. There's no shame in having those kinds of problems. I've experienced them myself.

wordsiheldback · 26-30, F

@GentleJoe okay I will try my best. Thank you!

Caramelwonder · 36-40, M

Don't worry about what society expects of you just do what's best for you and what makes you happy as far as people turning against you they probably weren't your friends to began with you are good at something you just have to find out what it is

wordsiheldback · 26-30, F

@Caramelwonder thank you!

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