It is the third day of antidepressants for my bipolar type 2

I should celebrate, right?
Who thought I'd be in this position one day?

Sometimes all of this feels like a dream.

I am mourning my childhood and younger adulthood... apparantly I had dysthymia and wasn't aware.

And also mourning my hypomania... the moments I felt like I loved myself for the first time. That the resort to intense emotional pain wasn't words of (I want to give up life)... where I felt aligned with my values in general, sharp and quick and productive at work. I went to a couple therapists during those periods (because I felt I was different) but after 2-3 sessions they said I'm off to go cause I had logical, well aligned, wise answers to everything and to every issue I presented to them lol.

I don't know what to wait for in the future... will my baseline mood be better?
Will it be back to the times I always felt low?

There is so much confusion

I hope I'm not exaggerating this whole fiasco.

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onrealityofdreams · M

I don't feel you're exaggerating. You're showing concern and a desire to get to the bottom of that which is disruptive to your life.
Most people are not capable of doing what you're doing.

TryingtoLava

@onrealityofdreams 100%

onrealityofdreams · M

@TryingtoLava Thank you!

Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

@onrealityofdreams Wow thank you.
Most of my posts here are just me talking about bipolar so it took me a long while to actually accept to live with it... that s why I said it feels surreal at times.
But thank you for your words, they are so encouraging.

onrealityofdreams · M

@Friendlyperson You're welcome.
If I may I would like to offer this. Don't ever feel like you are strange, odd, or less human for being bipolar. The fact that you are open about it and as I said being concerned about it shows you are stronger than most of the people who view themselves as 'normal'.