Letters To My Future Self
In the event of my recently diagnosed bipolar type II, I am thinking about building a bridge between my hypomanic and depressed self, because honestly, when I'm depressed I would never recognize the hypomanic me, I would feel like it is so unreachable, like someone else was possessing me. I would try to behave the same but the outcome would be disatreous and my self esteem would plummet more if that is even possible. It is a nightmare to have depression, and it is even worse thinking you could be someone else but unable to be.
Recently, as I started working again (after the one month break - for preparation for my big exam, which I passed btw!-) and I started having more "24 hours shifts" and more contact with people... I came to notice how my hypomania (or being neutral?) is affecting my work.
I'm more effective, sharper, quicker, smarter, making connections with information I learnt a long time ago and applying them, with a better memory, all the while staying calm in emergencies and calculating every move...and keeping good relationship with the people around me... I'm literally becoming someone I always strived and worked to be. But I'm scared of the downfall.
I'm afraid when depression hits again, it would be the catastrophe.
Hence this post...
I'm planning to write letters to myself : from my hypomanic self to my depressed self, talking about how my day is going, and how I am reacting to some situations, and even my introspection and analysis about my behavioral patterns.
Since I'm anonymous, I chose to write them here, in SW. I might not be regular, since it is a new thing, but I'm seriously planning to do it as much as I can.
Writing with the intention that someone is going to read it makes your words clearer, and helps untangle the mess better because you explain so simply that it even becomes simple in your head. And that is what I'm planning to do.
I hope this will be a good experience for me and it will really help me connect the two parts of me and accept both of them.
Thank you for reading this whole text, I hope you are having a good day, and I wish you a beautiful evening. ^^
Recently, as I started working again (after the one month break - for preparation for my big exam, which I passed btw!-) and I started having more "24 hours shifts" and more contact with people... I came to notice how my hypomania (or being neutral?) is affecting my work.
I'm more effective, sharper, quicker, smarter, making connections with information I learnt a long time ago and applying them, with a better memory, all the while staying calm in emergencies and calculating every move...and keeping good relationship with the people around me... I'm literally becoming someone I always strived and worked to be. But I'm scared of the downfall.
I'm afraid when depression hits again, it would be the catastrophe.
Hence this post...
I'm planning to write letters to myself : from my hypomanic self to my depressed self, talking about how my day is going, and how I am reacting to some situations, and even my introspection and analysis about my behavioral patterns.
Since I'm anonymous, I chose to write them here, in SW. I might not be regular, since it is a new thing, but I'm seriously planning to do it as much as I can.
Writing with the intention that someone is going to read it makes your words clearer, and helps untangle the mess better because you explain so simply that it even becomes simple in your head. And that is what I'm planning to do.
I hope this will be a good experience for me and it will really help me connect the two parts of me and accept both of them.
Thank you for reading this whole text, I hope you are having a good day, and I wish you a beautiful evening. ^^
26-30, F
