I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II.

Damn, I knew it.
I suspected it, and I went to see a psychiatrist today and damn it, even though I thought it was a possibility, it is really hard to deal with this new information.
I always thought I had a joyful personality with a hint of depression from some of my past experiences, but then I'm being diagnosed by a professional and everything now has another taste.
I don't think I'll be taking the medication... I'm in a neutral phase now, or so I think.
The psychiatrist said that 80% of the doctors have a mental health disorder, among which bipolar, she was trying to soothe me and convince me it was okay (even though I already seemed completely okay with it...) but damn is it hard to accept. I just didn't show it.
I wish me the best, and I wish all the people having it the best too.

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UndeadSona · F

Same technically I'd only been formally diagnosed this year but they'd been suggesting it for much longer. I think it's just because I struggle to remember manic episodes as more than weeks of being the absolute greatest.

As far as meds 😒 I've been taking medication for a while but honestly I remember this one I used to be on was the best. Mentally anyway. I felt like a human being for the first time ever. I just kept vomiting/having extreme nausea when I woke up. Now I'm taking this boring shit but at least I can force myself to get up in the morning

Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

@UndeadSona I could really relate to the first paragraph. The hypomanic episodes just felt like I was in control of everything and I thought it was what I was really like, an overachiever. (I am, actually, but not in alternance with a depressive episode right after)
I am so terrified of the meds, I am feeling neutral rn so I'm scared if I'll just change to someone else if I start taking them...

Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

How are you doing right now, btw?

UndeadSona · F

@Friendlyperson as far as changing into someone else for me I think I started meds because I was tired of lacking control and hoped they'd work like that. They honestly didn't or if thet did it wasn't enough that I felt drastically different. Part of that is I've tried a large variety of meds and mostly at this point I'm more concerned about side effects than whatever they're doing to my personality.

As far as right now I'm probably on a bit of a depressive trend. Although I've started working out a bit so that os probably going to help soon. At minimum it'll make me sleep longer which always helps my mood stay stable.

Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

@UndeadSona I understand, so you have Bipolar type I if I understood you well and the medication is somehow stabilizing your mood, although not the way you want it.
I wish you the best in the world, and that all your troubles will more tolerated...

UndeadSona · F

@Friendlyperson no I am type 2 I'm pretty sure since I tend to have a large amount of immobilizing depression whenever I'm off meds

Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

@UndeadSona Im so sorry about that.
I really wish you a stable life soon where you'll feel quite satisfied with how life is in the healthiest way possible. 🙏

UndeadSona · F

@Friendlyperson I appreciate that, and wish you the same