How to make up with my daughters after periods of bipolar depression: [I Bipolar]

Is there more I can do to apologize to them?

My story:

I recently had a bipolar manic high that put me into the hospital for a month. This is my first incident since I was first diagnosed 20 yrs ago. Just the perfect storm of quarantine, lose of income, getting my car repossessed.

My daughters 15 & 12 and my son 10 were traumatized.

So as my kids were put in therapy with their mom (my ex wife) my daughters. put together over the years how sick I have been.

During the year I would have depressive episodes ( mania wasn't much of an issue) and my daughters said they were really angry for the times I was in bed most of the day and they had to take care of themselves.

I thought it was good enough when I told them "Dad's feeling low, I'm gonna sleep in today til afternoon" but it wasn't and I was wrong to treat them this way.

They are so angry and now they stopped living with me...after being at my place for 7 years for 3-4days week.

This is what I have been saying:

[b]"I'm sorry for lying to you when I was depressed and making you look after yourselves when you were just kids. I take responsibility for the pain this caused. Can you forgive me and trust me again?"[/b]

As kids they dont care I was mentally depressed, they just know they were hurt.

Help? its been 2 months now

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Iwillwait · M

May I ask how the manic episode resulted in your hospitalization?

HootyTheNightOwl

@Iwillwait Why would you need to know that??? Seems pretty obvious to me that the mania was severe enough that it was decided that hospital was the best place for him in that moment.

Having seen bipolar disorder in others, I've found that manic or hypomanic states are much scarier to witness than the depression side of the illness - and that's for me as an adult.

This message was deleted by its author.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Iwillwait I don't care who you were talking to. He obviously omitted that detail because he doesn't want it to be public knowledge - but, even without it, you should know that a lot of manic episodes end in a trip to the hospital.

Kindly point out to me the point where I was "on your back" as you put it - because, as far as I can see, I only said that there's no need for you to know that and shared some more general information about the subject.

If you really are this sensitive, then, maybe SW isn't the right place for you to be hanging out.

thedarkshadow · M

@HootyTheNightOwl
Hey I appreciate this. You really get me and it was pretty traumatic . I responded to @iwillwait with this message ...and I don’t hold it against him....mania is really hard to translate and understand and I’m sure curiosity is there as well as empathy ....anyhow I sincerely am grateful for the support here. It means the world to me and I’m just rebuilding my life in recovery from this brain based illness . <3

Message was:
—-
Hey no problem.
It’s a really traumatic frightening thing. Like being mind raped, or on a terrible drug trip. The guilt and shame I felt afterwards is intense.
Sorry that I can’t share what happened yet....suffice to say I don’t remember some of the things I said or did but it wasn’t “me”. It’s the disconnect that is opposite of feeling depressed. You feel so great there is no stopping you . “Bipolar is the only disorder that when you feel great ...watch out” is what we share at peer group. I’m part of obad.ca

Thanks for reaching out, I’m sorry your family has struggled with this too....lots of compassion k? Nobody wants to be sick . I’ll share sometime thanks 🙏🏽

——-