I Have Bi-polar Disorder
I've been diagnosed with Bi-polar Affective Disorder for about 12 years, but experienced problems since a young child. In that time I've been hospitalised for reasons related to it about fourteen different times and I've been to seven different psychiatric hospitals across England and Wales.
I'm not much of a fan of Psychiatry and the medical model as I've had some horrendous experiences going through the system, but lately I have put my faith in a small amount of medication to test whether it will actually prevent me from losing my mind again. Most of the time I grapple with the depression, but I've come a long way with that. What I find a major issue is the extremity of the manic episodes I have, which result in bouts of Psychosis; I experience that roughly once every year/year and a half and it can last up to a couple of months.
While I'm also not much of a fan of labels, using "Bi-polar" as a means to describe to others what I go through seems the most convenient and naturally it helps meeting others with similar issues, however I don't let this be the all encompassing factor for how I define myself, regardless of how much of an impact it's had on my life.
Despite the challenges I've faced with it, especially the mania, I've come to value them and appreciate them as they've opened up my mind to heightened and altered states of reality which not everyone gets to experience and I'm a better person for it; they've helped me to learn a lot about the nature of the human condition and question the fabric of the world we inhabit. Saying that, all I ask for now is to connect with others who have been there or those who may be going through it and to avoid being lost to it all like I have been so many times before.
I'm not much of a fan of Psychiatry and the medical model as I've had some horrendous experiences going through the system, but lately I have put my faith in a small amount of medication to test whether it will actually prevent me from losing my mind again. Most of the time I grapple with the depression, but I've come a long way with that. What I find a major issue is the extremity of the manic episodes I have, which result in bouts of Psychosis; I experience that roughly once every year/year and a half and it can last up to a couple of months.
While I'm also not much of a fan of labels, using "Bi-polar" as a means to describe to others what I go through seems the most convenient and naturally it helps meeting others with similar issues, however I don't let this be the all encompassing factor for how I define myself, regardless of how much of an impact it's had on my life.
Despite the challenges I've faced with it, especially the mania, I've come to value them and appreciate them as they've opened up my mind to heightened and altered states of reality which not everyone gets to experience and I'm a better person for it; they've helped me to learn a lot about the nature of the human condition and question the fabric of the world we inhabit. Saying that, all I ask for now is to connect with others who have been there or those who may be going through it and to avoid being lost to it all like I have been so many times before.
41-45, M
