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Sensory stuff

Really just a rant as I don't suppose anyone can help. The battle continues with teeth brushing. My son is 15 and will do whatever he can to get out of doing it. I have tried so many different things to make it better for him but this morning, I took his phone and told him he wasn't getting it back until I watched him do his teeth. The result was him screaming and slapping himself around the face repeatedly before pulling my hair. I don't want his teeth to rot and fall out after his gums get bad. I am tired. I have tried everything including


*Tooth pastes and liquids, sooo many different types and brands!
Fruit flavour
Mint flavour
No flavour

*Tooth brushes
Firm, medium, soft
Nano ultra fine
Three sided
Electric
Sonic
Musical timer

*Reward stickers

Am I missing anything? Anything else we can try?
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class · F Best Comment
Practical ideas to try (sensory + behavioral)
Sensory/OT‑style strategies
- Consult an occupational therapist (OT) who specializes in sensory processing for individualized desensitization and graded exposure plans.
- Pre‑regulate sensory system before brushing: give heavy work (e.g., pushing a weighted cart, wall pushes), chewing/chewy foods or a chewable toy (if safe) to provide oral proprioceptive input beforehand.
- Try using a non‑foaming, low‑sensation toothpaste (sulfate‑free, low‑mint) or toothpaste tablets that produce less taste/foam. You already tried flavors; focus on low‑sensation formulas.
- Use mouth wipes/oral swabs as an intermediate step (wipe gums/teeth first) and slowly shape toward a toothbrush.
- If electric/sonic noise is the issue, use a very quiet brush or cover ears with soft ear defenders; if vibration is problem, a soft manual brush may work better.
- Work on tolerance steps (put brush in mouth without turning on → brush only a few teeth → increase time), praising each small step.

Behavioral/structure strategies
- Shaping and reinforcement: break brushing into tiny achievable steps and reinforce each step (e.g., put toothbrush on lips → open mouth → brush two teeth). Use meaningful rewards (not just stickers) and a token economy if needed.
- First/Then or visual schedule: “First brush for 30 seconds, then phone/choice activity.” Make the reward immediate and predictable.
- Choice and control: let him choose the toothbrush, toothpaste type, order (top/bottom), or who brushes (you vs. him), or brush location (bathroom vs. bedroom) to increase cooperation.
- Video modeling or social stories: short video of a peer/role model doing it calmly, or a social story that outlines steps and expectations.
- Reduce demand/avoid power struggles: if you took the phone, consider a less punitive approach next time; coercion can increase resistance. Use calm prompting and reset rather than confrontation.

Alternative/adjunct dental options
- Talk to your dentist about professional fluoride varnish, toothbrush alternatives, or tailored hygiene plans. Some clinics can apply varnish to mitigate reduced home brushing.
- Ask dentist/OT about tooth‑cleaning gels or wipes safe for daily use as a bridge.
- Consider scheduling dental cleanings more frequently while working on home routine.

When to seek extra help
- If resistance is severe or causing dental problems, ask for a joint consult with OT and behavior specialist (BCBA) to do a functional behavior assessment and design a plan.
- If sensory issues are prominent, an OT with sensory expertise is especially helpful.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@class this is fantastic. Thank you so much!! ❤
class · F
@PatientlyWaiting25 You're welcome. :)

Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M
We have a special needs son who is early 20s and it has always been a battle. I presume your son goes to the dentist. Any way you could use that as a fear factor? Maybe you’ve already tried that…
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@Ambroseguy80 I've tried pretty much everything. It's hard.
Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M
@PatientlyWaiting25 I know. Hang in there.
Include a positive reward during brushing ?

Ie: can only watch favorite cartoon on ipad while brushing teeth🤷‍♀

Visual timers are good too. Means they can see the time reducing and it visually gives them an end point they can see coming .

Sometimes you need to sacrifice a bit of your ideals with this one : start off with a short time. Like a minute. (Maybe even less).
Keep that time until the struggle lessens and you're not fighting it.. (could take weeks🫤), then imcrease time by tiny increments of say...5 seconds? (Whatever you think you can get away with).

Yeah its not ideal to start off with....but youre aiming for an end goal. It might take weeks, months to get where hes got a decent routine.
But its all about making it less punishing which gives you a starting point to sensory tolerance .....and then very slowly increasing duration without going past sensory overload .

Its like building a sand castle grain by grain🤷‍♀


Sometimes you need to think outisde the circle.

It might be : give him a cup and a toothbrush while watching his favorite show in the lounge (take the behavior to a new environ).

No time limits.... just he's gotta give it a go. The more time's hes got that toothbrish in his mouth is a win. It builds tolerance to it.

Itll be painful on your part to keep reminding him with a cue....and if he refuses....no tv show then.

I dunno ...each kid is different.
You never know what's going to work.

We had to go back to basics with our son ... Git him started on a rubber baby's brush thing with no toothpaste on it ...it was more a 'mouthing' thing.

Then we added a bit of toothpaste a few weeks later.
It was just a slow process of getting him used to each sensory aspect of toothbrushing.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@OogieBoogie the IPAD this doesn't work as he can't focus on more than one thing at a time. He would just stop and watch his show then scream and start to get aggressive if I try to push with the toothbrushing. We also had a visual timer. It was a big traffic light. My son threw it and broke it, so unfortunately it's no more. It wasn't that effective.
shannonredtail · 31-35, F
Try a plaque and tartar control mouth wash or rinse. If the goal is healthy teeth and a healthy mouth look at alternatives. Some of that teeth whitening stuff might be good. Try some creative momming because frustrated momming aint good for either one of you. Hugs
DViper97 · 51-55, M
I’m just opening this and didn’t read all the post comments so apologies if already mentioned. Is he using a super soft brush? They seem to be better if there is any sensations he may be getting from a water pic or rough bristles.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@DViper97 we already tried that. Things usually work for two weeks and then he gets bad again
DViper97 · 51-55, M
@PatientlyWaiting25 ah I see. I know it’s hard to deal with.
OK i understand now autism is not a fun thing to deal with hope you find an answer....
Wireman · 31-35, M
Tell him behaviour in the house that is not acceptable, causes small repercussions. But behaving like that outside is major problems. He must learn and understand norms.
dirge · M
are the 'nano ultrafine' the silicone based ones? can/would he use mouthwash? maybe a waterpik type something? just a jet of water that can be moved around and use a highish pressure waterjet to wash off the teeth.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@dirge it's too sensory for him. I have a waterpik which he's tried unsuccessfully. The nano brushes are made of nylon
dirge · M
@PatientlyWaiting25 hm. they make soome with silicone. not sure that would make enough difference
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@dirge I will have a look, anything is worth a try.
MarineBob · 61-69, M
Make sure he meets people in our age group that never really cared about oral hygiene
If he's 15, tell him he needs to grow up unless he is a special needs child.....
Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M
It’s difficult 🫂🫂
Does he have a PDA profile?
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@Notladylike we tried all that too but his breath is like death. It's embarrassing to be with him sometimes.
@PatientlyWaiting25 I have a friend at work who knows a lot more about this than me. I’ll ask and see if they have any suggestions. It sounds incredibly exhausting for you.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@Notladylike thanks xx
kittee · 26-30
oh dear,is he autsitc
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@kittee yes
kittee · 26-30
@PatientlyWaiting25 well maybe chewing gum which cleansoyur teeth might work
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@kittee I did think that but I also want him to get better at brushing, it seems a cop out somehow but we could do both maybe.
kittee · 26-30
maybe a electric toothbrush , inthe sahoe fo superhero he likes

 
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