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Where to begin? I need help. Please read and reply with as much knowledge as you can. I'm not looking for any fight for arguments. I'm just looking fo

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One of my twins was born helplessly disabled due to severe hydrocephalus, which led to severe cerebral palsy. It starts with you from all the brain surgery resulted in pretty bad epilepsy. He's so far off the charts that he can't really be tested but we know he's also very autistic. Not like on the Spectrum as people say these days I mean like he is the Spectrum . he covers every bit of it. It's evident in his severe sensitivity issues.. I mean severe.

It just so happens that his mom is dying of stage 4 lung and brain cancer. I would really like for him to look his best at her imminent funeral and hopefully before that I'd like her to see him looking his best also at least once before she goes

Due to his severe sensitivity issues, you will not let people touch his head or get anywhere near it with Clippers or scissors or anything like that. We have to cut little bits and pieces here and there when we can while he's asleep. It's a never-ending haircut.

My barber of the last 20-something years has wholeheartedly agreed to teach me what I need to know in order to give my son the first decent haircut he's ever had in his life of 24 years, that wasn't done by a brain surgeon in pre-op. Although, I do have to give his old dentist a big shout out. He used to have to sedate him for those same sensitivity issues in order to clean his teeth. The man was a saint. He would bring his own personal Clippers to the clinic the days my son would show up for his appointment and while he was sedated (my son 😉), and would give him a complete GI Joe Buzz cut, free of charge.

Okay, here's where I need the help. Im considering getting my son stoned a little bit before taking him to the barber. I've got a decarboxylator and some decent wedding cake, like a half pound of it , LOL don't ask, and if you don't think he's special enough yet, my son is also fed 100" of his nutrients through a G-tube that we've been feeding him through since he was 5 years old. So getting it into him is not going to be a problem. I'm just struggling with the ethics of it all. What are your opinions of me slipping a finite amount of Narcotics into my son without his knowledge or any experience with such a narcotic in the past. Although that Risperdal he was on for a good part of his life probably makes the little bit of weed I'm suggesting seem like a couple drops of lavender in the essential oil diffuser in comparison. But I'm still torn.

I've got almost 50 years of experience smoking weed. It's not the drug I'm worried about. Like I said, it really is the ethics. His whole life I've been his protector . I feel like I might be to betraying him a little bit. On the other hand, this could be what he's been needing to dial down these sensitivity issues.

I read an article on it years ago about a man who gave his young Autistic daughter marijuana and it was very beneficial to her. I think I recall the only downside being public opinion since she was like 8 years old or something like that but it really calmed her down without droning her out, making her much more functional

Also. Does anyone have any advice on making tea from decarbed weed? I'm not sure if this wedding cake will grind into a fine enough powder to make it through the little check valve in his button (connection point for the g-tube). ..and oral delivery hasn't been an option for over 19 years and was a long shot faint option the 5 years it ever was an option, hence the G-tube.

I'm really hoping we can all come together and regardless of our perspectives, we only make constructive, forward progress on this post. Let's at least try?

🕊🕊
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Guardian Best Comment
I'm neurodivergent, not as extreme as your son, with PTSD. I have a medical prescription for CBD oil which I use under my tongue. The CBD calms me and prevents terrifying PTSD nightmares, which I get, when I get tired or stressed.

I would recommend consulting his doctor for advice.
Jayciedubb · 56-60, M
@Guardian thanks for the info. Ive got severe PTSD too. From war. Ive been smoking weed since before PTSD. Ive been using it to cope since I got home, before i knew i had PTSD. but the coping part was just an incidental perk. I spent many years running at full bore in all directions, doing lots of drugs and drinking lots of liquor. I dont know how to explain it. After living in extreme conditions with enormous responsibility involving so much danger and risk to life, then coming back home to hero welcome and everyone wanting a piece of you, free shots, free beer, free sex, .. it was exhilarating but at the same time it was overdone. I'm not a fucking hero. What we did over there wasn't very nice. Eventually Society moves on and there's nothing to occupy all the exhilaration let's still consuming me. It's 34 years later and I still feel like I just got home and I need to settle down. Meanwhile friends have died family members have died Everything's changed and I'm an old man trying to shake off the war

Oh my God I was working on it a gif that I wanted to post that it was an amalgamation of me then and me now. 6 years of army conditioning versus 30 years of plumbing and heavy construction but it has to be scroll down slowly or it gets very confusing. I thought I might be able to post it here but then I just realized I can't. I'm not finished making it LOL

But yeah, getting back to the CBD conversation. I've been smoking weed since I was 10 years old. Not every day but that's when I started and I'm still a lightweight. When I get stoned everybody knows it. I remember when I realized how beneficial weed was to me being a civilian, I always wish there was a way that I could just get the calming part without the psychoactive part. My answer was to just take smaller bong hits LOL

I've known that cannabis would be beneficial to my son since he was two or three because I know what it does for me and I can recognize what he was going through with his frustration and his anger but his mom was against it, and I still didn't know anything about decarboxylation and a damn sure wasn't going to blow smoke in his. I would imagine it from a third party perspective and how it would look common no matter what the benefits were to my son. He would never be able to tell anybody anyway. He doesn't know how to hold up a conversation. We just parrot back and forth. There's no information in our conversations. Then when he was five, we finally got his G-tube installed because we were losing him. Feeding him was like torturing him and whenever we could get into him, he'd throw half of it back up. It was an all-day job just trying to keep him sustaining life. That G-tube was a game changer. Not only did it give us a port directly into his stomach, bypassing all his efforts to expel it. On top of being able to get full nutrients everyday, if ever he did show signs of throwing up. All I had to do was believe his G-tube and it worse maybe a squirt would come out the end of that. And even when he was sick we could still give him his full load of food. Instead of giving him, I forget what to early amounts were but we'll say 200 mg. Instead of giving him 200 mg every 4 hours. I would give him 50 mg every half hour so he would never feel full.

I know it's the right thing to say about seeing a doctor before giving him any. I never saw a doctor before I started neither did his brother come on neither did 99.9% of cannabis users. He's 24 years old. A recreational Pastime here. The benefits are exponentially more than any possible drawbacks.

I spent last night conducting the dosing experiment. I made a very dense tea out of a quarter gram of wedding cake, divided it in half, drink half, that was 8 hours ago. I did go through a window of mellowness but no psychoactive or lacking in function. So of the half that's left I think I can give him half and it will have the effect that I'm looking for.

I almost aborted the whole thing until I started reading articles on it after I posted this and there were so many other benefits that I overlooked. There's no way I'm not doing this. My only concern is how angry I'm going to be that I didn't do it way back in '05 after we got his G-tube. But everything happens for a reason. Like, I don't know if I would have been able to get the directions of how to make tea back then and I know particles would jam up his button which is the check valve to G tube. It's the part the YouTube connects to in a bayonet sort of fitting

It seems like I made too big of a deal about this, but I needed something constructive for all of us to do

Thanks for your comment. Maybe we can chat about PTSD sometime. As soon as I said that my brain started blinking with an examples of things to talk about. For example, do you notice that your responses to emotions have shifted in a few ways? It happened so much I can't ignore it anymore. Like, every time I cry when I get happy how pissed off I get when I'm sad and how charged up I get when I'm angry. It's like, being happy makes me feel sad. Being sad makes me feel angry, and being angry makes me feel happy. does that make sense to you? Or am I just fucking psycho. One thing PTSD has taught me after having it for so long and not even knowing it, same could happen with many other disorders. I'm sure many people slip into crazy and don't know they're gone
@Jayciedubb sure! Thank you for your service!🫡

That's a tough one. I have limited experience in smokes - been forever - so I cant really answer that one. But is there a barbers nearby that are trained in asd customers?
Jayciedubb · 56-60, M
@V00doo thank you so much for replying and participating the way I was hoping everybody was going to participate either for or against. I didn't think civil was going to be too difficult on this one but apparently... for some people... I probably embarrassed myself on a couple of my replies but I really don't care I'm not sorry for the things I said to some people who needed to hear them. Anyway thanks for your idea I've never heard of such a thing. But it makes sense that there might be. However, the goal is that I want to learn how to do it myself. It's something I've been someone working on since I took over at Sole caretaker when my wife fell I'll.

He tolerates me running my fingers through his hair as long as i stay away from the shunt. I think theres an approach to success, but i know for sure its a narrow one with cliffs on both sides. And if anyone goes over the cliff, they will wreck it for any further attempts for a long time. I know that was a week analogy but I hope it makes sense. I think one of the other factors is I got catch him when he's sleepy. Also, everybody tries to use Clippers on him. I don't think that's the right tool, considering that's what's what the brain surgeons used on him and even though they were ultimately relieving paying for him I think it might remind him of painful times either way. I don't know if any of the stuff is right but I want to work it all into my advantage just in case it is. One of the reasons I thought about including marijuana is that I recall how good it feels to have my scalp lightly scratched when I'm stoned. And how I'm like I said, Mr j, not Sergeant j. I'm way more mellow. I think I decided that it's going to happen. I think it's for the better and I think he's going to enjoy it. I'm not planning on getting him baked out of his mind. I'm experimenting with a very light dose for myself and when I find it I plan on giving him maybe a quarter of that since he's about half my weight and I only want to take the slightest bit of an edge off for him I can always add more if it's not enough but I can never take back a bad trip LOL

Thanks again for your kind comment. I hope you can ignore any juvenile or overstated replies I may have replied to some other people in this post. But if not , I at least hope you are entertained.. and I don't mean that in a snarky way
Guess I’m just having trouble understanding, in light of the truly serious health issues faced by your son and his mother, what the heck difference it makes what his hair looks like. Sounds like something you want that’s of no importance to anyone else.
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@Jayciedubb

Yep, you’re exactly the type of person I suspected. But thanks for sharing it with our SW audience. 😂

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DDaverde · 61-69, M
@Jayciedubb thanks for you poignant txt.
Best wishes in sorry about your wife …
Jayciedubb · 56-60, M
@DDaverde thank you sir same to you and thank you for your patience. One of my coping mechanisms is come here and I get real wordy in the comment sections spending my time thinking about anything other than what's looming
You know we can't advise on anything that is illegal and unethical.
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Jayciedubb · 56-60, M
@SomeMichGuy thanks for sharing your opinion and your concerns. Where do they come from? Crystal ball? Obviously you've done no research on the matter.

In life there are worriors and there are warriors. I already know which side you fall on from our previous encounter. My son is the son of a warrior. We're going to take that route.

I really do appreciate the fact that you took the time to participate. Now I'm encouraging you to disengage. Dont waste anymore of your time on this post. The decision has already been made..

I have a feeling you won't be able to resist. You're one of those last word guys. So if you must reply, bring the data to support your opinion.

I have studied on the matter quite a bit and I know there are downsides. Or at least possible downsides. My 24 years of research on this matter tell me that the benefits are way more beneficial in the possible cons. Even if they are completely true. If you bring them. I will explain to you why they are either minimal, or moot.

I know your opinion of me isn't very high, but I do respect you as a man and as an American that's why I'm going to give you an example of what I'm talking about here.

One of the possible downsides of this is that it could negatively affect his appetite. That's a non issue because my son has no desire to eat ever. I feed him through a g tube and he has no choice but to take it and absorb it.

Another is that it may make him sleepy. I hope it does. Do you know anything about the sleeping patterns of autistic people? Tuesday morning he slept for about 5 hours. He's been up ever since. And that's common

Don't be so sure my wife is going to love him either way. You should hear them right now. She got up to take a piss and left her door open. Jake scooted in and now they're screaming at each other. It's 1:00 a.m. here. I don't remember the last time I slept. I think I laid down at least for 2 hours this afternoon.🤔 yes. I did. Her sister-in-law took her to her appointments today so I tried to sneak in a nap, but Commander demander had other plans for us. We had to count down alternately from 6 to blast off then I had to give the report of the Rockets. We did that over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over then we played a little, I saw a blue one. I saw a red one. I saw a blue one. I saw a white one. I saw a blue one. I saw a yellow one. I saw a blue one. I saw a black one. I saw a blue one. I saw an orange one. I saw a blue one. I think I saw the same one. Did yours have orange pinstripes? I saw a blue one I saw a green one I saw a blue one. Me too. I saw a blue one. I think we're looking at the same one. I saw a blue one. Where? I saw a blue one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Good night. Good night jake, I love you. Good night. Good night jake, I love you. Call Lola. I she's busy. Call lola. I can't she's busy. Where's mom? She's at her appointment. Go get mom. She's at her appointment. Vincent. He's not here. Go to school? You graduated. Jake graduated. Yes you did. You're so smart. Go to school? You graduated. Remember? Jake graduated. Yes. Jake graduated because he's so smart. Call Lola? I can't. She's busy. Vincent. You know he's not here right now. He moved out. Poor Wally. Oh don't worry about wally. Wally's fine. Poor Wally. I'm telling you Wally is fine. Poor Wally yeah, poor Wally. We go elevator. Yes in 2 weeks. 2 weeks. Yes 2 weeks. 2 weeks. Yes 2 weeks. Good night. Good night Jake I love you. Good night. Good night Jake I love you. I love you. I love you too jake. Jake graduated. Yesterday graduated because he's so smart. I'm so proud of you jake. You're so smart. No riley. That's right. No riley. He's not allowed. No riley. Exactly. School monday. No you graduated. Jake graduated. Yes Jake You graduated. Because you're so smart Jake graduated. Yesterday cuz you're so smart. No Riley. That's right. No riley. He's not allowed

Riley is why there's no school [adult daycare for special adults] riley had been mistreating Jake probably since day one. I walked in on it when i arrived earlier than usual, Thanksgiving weekend 2024. There were 3 other adults of varying abilities all crammed into a smaller room. Maybe a projector room. Riley had Jake's wheelchair blocked into the far corner of the room with his (rileys) wheelchair. Jakes pant legs were hiked up past his knees , his legs were all red and Riley wasnt letting jake push his pantlegs back down. The other 2 men looked guilty as shit, avoiding eye contact with me. I got behind jakes wheelchair and unlocked the brakes, and started pushing him towards the door. Riley tried to stop me by blocking my way with his arm and started to, get this, stand up. Yes. Riley can walk. Hes in his mid 20s with athletic build., probably about an inch or so taller than me. I'm 6'1. And his dad is bigger than him and never very talkative. He seems like a black racist to me or maybe he thinks his tired old yet very clean and shiny Mercedes gives him some sort of privilege.


Here I Go Again huh. God damn it. Anyway, I lean forward, shove Riley back down in his chair and storm out of the little room, demanding to see the director. They knew something was up because one of the other helpers, the one who changes and treats Jake tried to come and answer and explain why his parents were up so high. She said she forgot to pull them down after she changed him. Think about that for a second. I'm not being condescending. Seriously, think about that. The funny thing is, his brother and I had just had a conversation about how it seems like the cuff of your jacket would run the whole night of your arm when you put your jacket on. It does to me anyway and apparently it does to that help her because there's no reason his cuff should be up to his fucking knees after changing him. By then the director had showed up and she knew that was absurd and cut me off when I was about to explain why it absurd telling me, no Jake pulls his pants up like that all the time. I guess you overlooked the fact that I I've been living with him and caring for him for the past 23 and a half years at that point and I had never seen it happen at home. In fact, I know it's the other way around. His pant legs are up, he pulls them down, religiously. I mean, habitually. Don't focus on that religiously word too much. Come on stay with me. LOL I'm just kidding. I know how you are about religion. Lol😁

Anyway, so the caretaker just lied to me. The director just told me a whole different lie. And continues to ramble, trying to put me at ease, telling me, don't worry. He's safe. There's nothing going on around here. We have cameras everywhere. I said okay then show me some footage of him pulling his pants up or maybe show me how you guys change his diaper cuz I do it totally different. When I do it, his cuffs never climb past his ankles.

She said that I was going to take some time and they were trying to get out of there for there Thanksgiving weekend. And I really had to get out of there by then because I was starting to boil and I didn't want to make a scene or hurt anybody but I really wanted to hurt Riley and the old man who was probably supposed to be guarding the door when I walked in

I still have no idea what they're doing to him I just know the first step in there crisis control procedure is to lie.. step 2, deny. Step 3, don't reply. Step 4. Goodbye..

Speaking of goodbye, it's long overdue. I need to sleep and they're back at it again with the fucking screaming and yelling
Iwillwait · M
Your Family, your choice.

 
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