Autistic struggles

I love being alone and I hate [b]FEELING[/b] lonely, I am not sad being alone, but I'm not too happy about being distant, if someone comes near me I may ask for space or for them to go or i might get angry, although I'm very polite if someone offers me anything or asks me to move, but I like my space but I also hate being too alone when watching other people but at the same time I love being alone counting I'm semi verbale