Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join Similar Worlds today »

I Have Adhd

It's a tough thing to live with. I am one of those people for whom it has gotten much worse in adulthood, and I feel like I'm becoming stranger with every year that passes. Everything is either too boring or too much. I have no concept of time beyond "now" and "not now." I can't organise my stuff or my finances no matter how hard I try. I'm so different from everyone emotionally that 90% of people don't even feel real to me when I talk to them. I often feel like I might as well not try to connect with anyone because they wouldn't understand either way. My emotions are unpredictable and, most of the time, overwhelming and very painful. Every time someone hurts my feelings it's like my soul is being ripped out through my throat. I'm afraid of opening up to people because rejection is the worst thing in the world for some reason. All I really seem to be good for is the fact that my observable symptoms are often funny. I say funny things, often unintentionally, which makes it funnier. I'm easy to fool because I'll react to things people tell me before really thinking about them, which is, again, hilarious apparently. I'm very, very good at English because it's my special interest and I can help people with their academic essays even though I've never been succesful in university myself. But beyond that, most people don't want to know me. They don't want to deal with me and my unpredictability. I'm afraid to ever date again. For me, the worst part has never been the inconsistent focus or the trouble sleeping. It's how different I feel, how far removed from "normal" people. It's lonely. I wish I could be more positive about it, but it's very, very difficult.
Mamapolo2016 · 70-79, F
I can relate to a couple of things. My time frames of reference are now, before now, and sometimes [i]way[/i] before now.

I can start across the small floor of my apartment to make a cup of tea and realize an hour later I’m still thirsty, but I [i]did[/i] water my plants.

It’s not bad to be funny, even inadvertently. The world needs more laughter, even if it is at my expense.
Mamapolo2016 · 70-79, F
Only rarely do we meet people who want all of us. That requires patience, which unfortunately is something we struggle with.

I’m good with English, too (I typo’d English. 😂😂)
@JojaRodenaLente
JojaRodenaLente · 26-30, F
@Mamapolo2016 yeah, i know, that's why at age 27 i still have only 3 friends. Only been in 2 relationships, too. I just find it very difficult to trust people, since I find them so difficult to understand.
Mamapolo2016 · 70-79, F
At 68, I have learned that understanding people may not have anything to do with disability or health. We are all of us complex creatures. Even when we think we understand, we probably don’t.

@JojaRodenaLente
So...much...same. It's gotten so much worse for me as well. Especially the overwhelming emotions thing. :-(
JojaRodenaLente · 26-30, F
@MalteseFalconPunch regular people never understand and will always fault you for being dramatic, as if it's somehow your fault that your emotions work this way. As if we don't deserve someone making an effort to understand, even if only sometimes.
@JojaRodenaLente Yea. I've got some other issues too that are difficult for people to deal with. A lot of people tolerate it. But when someone actually understands its wonderful. I wish more people would.
remindjeff · 36-40, M
I don’t care what disability u have fix it if it’s bothering u stop whining about it this is a really inapproaite post Joja
JojaRodenaLente · 26-30, F
@remindjeff yeah sure, fix something thats literally ingrained in your personality. Why don't you fuck off if you don't like my posts? Thanks
JojaRodenaLente · 26-30, F
@remindjeff also, don't make me read replies that are completely devoid of proper punctuation.
Have you checked for local support groups, like minded sufferers even online support.
JojaRodenaLente · 26-30, F
@Concretedust oh yeah, i was actually in a support group for a while, and am in a facebook discussion group right now. Does help some.
JojaRodenaLente · 26-30, F
@waleskinder do you mean recreational drugs or stuff like ritalin? Cause i've been on ritalin and it was... not good.
uncalled4 · 51-55, M
I don't have ADHD, but I have come to understand it a bit from knowing people who do. The general public is laughably uninformed about most mental illnesses. Sad but true.
JojaRodenaLente · 26-30, F
@uncalled4 combined. I tend to go from zoned out and quiet to really intense and emotionally volatile and back.
JojaRodenaLente · 26-30, F
@uncalled4 i don't know too much about OCD but that seems like a hard one too. Sorry you're struggling with that.
uncalled4 · 51-55, M
@JojaRodenaLente I did a lot of CBT and was on Lexapro for a time. I'm fine now, but it was no picnic when it was at its worst. But thanks.

 
Post Comment
 
242 people following
ADHD
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
New Post
Health Personality Disorder
Group Members