For those with depression /panic attacks / mental disorders

I have PTSD from a rough childhood through 27 years in the US Army, and it is combination of depression and anxiety that I have. I do not let it rule or to ruin my life and how I choose to live it. Unlike you I do not feel it is batting me around like a lion, but more of an avoidance of things that trigger me. Like crowds, or rude mean spirited, or ignorant people. If I perceive a threat, then I leave the immediate area of the threat calmly and collectively with the ever readiness to go to war in the blink of an eye. For me it is not being batted around, but more of a monster inside of me looking for a place to release its explosive energy into.

With a father that beat me bloody for discipline, inner city gang/street fights in the early 1970's to the Violence that the Army wanted purported upon our enemies in war. Combined over a 27-year career and training, I call it a monster I do not wish to let loose.

So, I retired to a farm and build things and work my forestry farm business and I cross-dress to cope and deal, as well as continued Counseling at a VA Hospital.