Its pretty obviously traumic psychology.

Per my exprience. Im hearing the feedback kinda stupid and 'retarded decision' here and there. I understand that perspective.
If u look at my claimed experience. Yes im not me. Never was able to be psychologically. Is it any wonder id be lost in self loathing. Im not me. So i did what i was desperate to feel like me. Empty inside. So yea pretty dumb but what choice did i have and it worked so. I blame rich old men with MDs. Those are the ones that did this to me. Thanks Catholics