There are days I really don't want to live anymore.

My relatives hate me or it intensely feels that way, I feel my life is going nowhere due to a disability, and I have no friends, no relationships, no connections, never been in a relationship, and no happy memories growing up. I feel alone and no sure there's anything I can do about it. I'm doing all I can to feel afloat but I feel like I'm drowning everyday even when trying to go at it slow.