Is it self diagnosing if I definitely think I have a sensory processing disorder?

My experience with doctors is horrible and I've been diagnosed with like two handfuls of illnesses that all contradict each other so needless to say I don't know what's wrong with me.

Yesterday I was supposed to grocery shop for a customer and get 15 items. I immediately got stressed out because I knew there was a very slim chance that the store would have all 15 items—most of the time I'm lucky if they have 4. So I ran around the store like a chicken with my head cut off, irritated the whole time, worried about getting in people's way, worried about people getting in my way, everybody around me seemed to have this weird habit of grabbing items and aggressively slamming them in their cart which made me jump every time, I couldn't tell what I was looking at on the shelves, my work device was glitching and slowing me down, I probably went in circles around the whole store a dozen times, the whole thing took over an hour to complete and I had the stress tolerance of a chihuahua in a war zone.

There are times I'm more calm than that but I have to be pretty lucky to be in that kind of mood. And probably not have to shop for someone on a time limit.

And tbh I don't even have to be in that kind of situation to get that stressed. Just someone saying hi to me can set me off like that and people around here know me for saying dumb and awkward things (I've been told bluntly). They assume it's just because I'm dumb and awkward but it's deeper than that. I always feel super pressured to do or say something without giving myself time to think it through and so I just do or say the first thing I can think of, even if it's awful.

It's why I lost the last job I had which was a "real" job instead of delivering things to people for low pay. Nobody liked me because I was too awkward and on edge. I really did my best but I was ostracized by everyone.

Sorry if this post is all over the place. Ironically I'm stressed. I don't even know what I wanna achieve with this. I just wish I was a normal person who could do normal things like everyone else. Or at least that the medical system was more promising. I feel hopeless.

TurtlePink · 22-25, F

You know yourself better than those doctors but it’s probably crucial to bring it up with them. But you know what at least you are aware of how you’re reacting at work. At least you’re paying attention and noticing the signs. That’s strength. And I don’t really think you need a diagnosis to ask your job if you can have noise canceling earphones on the job. I don’t know I could be wrong. I mean, you could be mistaken for listening to music on the job. But they make earplugs.

I’m sorry you’re going through this though 😔 feeling like you’re the odd one out at your job. Anxiety can amplify this too. But don’t let yourself down because you’re a normal person and you are doing normal things. Judging off of the job you described I assume you work at Walmart and let me tell you something. It is so fukin hard for me to get on at Walmart. I don’t know why they don’t want me 😩😩 so if you can get a job at Walmart, you must be doing something right.

LilMissAnonyMOUSE · F

I'm sad you're going through this. I wish I could help you and be able to diagnose exactly what it could be so that you could find the proper help for it and resolve the issue. Unfortunately, I don't have the profession to do that.

As your friend, I can only suggest an idea that I hope might help somehow, even if only in a little way. I wonder if you would be interested in practising yoga? You could look into it, read what it's about and decide if it's for you or not. It has helped me a lot. Yoga's purpose is to help us create a connection to ourselves, to unite the body (the physical), mind (thoughts) and heart (emotions). Often, people shut their thoughts and feelings down, because we feel vulnerable exposing them and while it can be good for some situations, it can also lead us to disconnect and stop using them to decide how to do things, because we allow external situations to demand immediate reactions from us. It's like just going on autopilot... there's a trigger and then we react, impulsiveness occurs because we don't pause to analyze what is the best move to make. Anger makes us blind and makes us lose control. Meditation might help you control your sensitivity to triggers and help you focus. I have found a system that works for me, a method that I practice. Like everything in life, nothing is perfect, so it's not a cure nor guarantees success, but I can sincerely say it has saved me many times from making the wrong decisions. So look into it if you want, at your own pace and convenience and if it's right for you, you'll know and feel it.

Hang in there, buddy and keep strong, okay?

Ilena · 31-35, F

I just had an issue with a medic. It was serious and I didn't have time to dabble because of high fever. So I just swapped medic who instantly gave me the treatment I needed. It left a scar but it also reminded me that if I wasn't brave enough to seek alternative professionals I'd be sick to the core and worse by now.

You want it professionally diagnosed or need treatment you have to involve the right med professional for it.

Take care 🤗