Oh hell, more unexpected bills my wife doesn't remember...

I never realized her memory is going so badly. A month or two ago we had to come up with $17,000 to cover a credit card she thought she'd been paying off, but evidently hadn't made payments on in years. Then tonight I decided I'd look through the piles of papers she keeps sorting through while watching TV and found another unpaid credit card bill for $16,000, a bill for a card we can't even identify, and a couple of other past due notices I'd never seen. I think I'm going to have to totally take over all bills but I feel like I'm I'm telling her she's no longer competent mentally as I go through the bills. She's always been a take charge person, very competent, but now it seems like it's just getting worse and worse. I feel like I'm losing her.

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dancingtongue · 80-89, M

I feel like I'm losing her

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You are in one way, but at the same time she needs you now more than ever. You definitely need to get her a medical exam, even if you have to trick her as others suggested. I was fortunate that both my late wife and my late partner who followed recognized things were getting more difficult and handed over control. Voluntarily gave up driving, financial roles, which was not easy for either as they always had been take charge, in control people as well. Your role and relationship will change; if it worsens it may be more than you can handle on your own and you will have to look at other options. But trust me -- you haven't yet lost her, until she is gone. Been there twice and once they are totally gone, it feels much different. If you would like to talk more about it, give me a pm.