Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join Similar Worlds today 禄

I think I might've upset a friend of mine

I bring him with me when I visit my mom sometimes. She was there for him in some of his hardest times so he's always happy to see her.

This is the same friend who's dating my ex & my mom already knows that because I've told her before. So when we were all together he mentioned something about her so I told my mom "oh you know he got her pregnant now too?" & she looked at him like "woah the same girl you warned [i]him[/i] not to get pregnant back then?" She was just pointing out the irony 馃槀

It seemed like that was enough to bother him because he got kinda defensive 馃し he was like "yeah because he couldn't hold on to her" & I told him "Why would I hold on to her? We didn't work out & neither of us wanted to be together. Why are you making it sound like she dumped me? 馃槀"

All he said was "nah you lost her" so I just laughed like "dude I didn't want her, that's not the same as losing her but alright then".

I feel like the little argument was petty in the first place but it kinda bugs me to think that he feels like he stole a girl from me that I couldn't keep.. that's not a very "friend-like" mentality.

Maybe he doesn't know that after we split up & she blatantly asked me for his phone number, I was the one who gave it to her 馃し I thought it was weird hooking her up with my friend but that was my way of saying "screw it, I don't care"

It doesn't bother me still, but that was like 2 weeks ago & my homie hasn't talked to me since. I get the feeling that's what's bothering him 馃 Sorry guys, just ranting 鉁岋笍
CarlisleF
The situation is super tense to be in

I鈥檇 keep my distance
There is nothing you both can say about the each other鈥檚 relationship which can鈥檛 be misinterpreted or misconstrued

It sucks but maybe keep your distance from them both
CarlisleF
@ChiefRunsWith40oz
Me too it鈥檚 always nice to see you here.

I want to add (maybe I shouldn鈥檛)
That she they both (no matter how cool they are with you and vice versa) shouldn鈥檛 have gone there.
It鈥檚 like a number rule of mine.
It鈥檚 girl code
Boy code
Decent humanity code
Just don鈥檛 date your boyfriends mates
Or don鈥檛 date your mates ex girlfriend
Like that is a massive no no for me personally
It has happened to me
I had a best friend and we were so close
I was with someone for a long time
And we weren鈥檛 working out so we broke up
He didn鈥檛 take it well and one day he said how can you be friends with her and not me
Then he blurted out that they had been sleeping together.

It didn鈥檛 hurt as much that he had done this because I had ended it anyway
But it hurt more that my best friend who I would have done anything for did that to me. Would come to my house after and have coffee with me.
I kept civil
But after that I put a whole big distance between me and her.
She鈥檚 reached out to me several times and iv been kind and civil
But she lost my trust and right to be in my inner circle.


I鈥檓 so glad you sister is ok. 馃
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@Carlisle yeah personally I would never date any of my homies exes. That was always a big NO to me. In the past my friends never would've done it to me either so this is a first for us. I chose to overlook it because she didn't mean anything to me but I know if it was an ex who really hurt me then I definitely would feel betrayed. I wouldn't even call him my friend anymore.

I'm sorry you went through that though. If I were you I wouldn't be friends with that person anymore either. That's one of the worst ways to stab somebody in the back, to sit down with them & play friends afterwards. It's just cold. I commend you for keeping it civil. I wouldn't have.

You deserve the world, js 馃槝
CarlisleF
@ChiefRunsWith40oz and you
馃
SweetHeart0118-21, F
Maybe he felt like you were talking bad about her/disrespecting her and since he鈥檚 with her now he obviously got offended. But yeah I agree it was a petty argument, but maybe you should bring it up to him? That鈥檚 if you wanna be the one to reach out of course
SweetHeart0118-21, F
@ChiefRunsWith40oz lol I definitely agree but I鈥檓 saying you know why he鈥檚 upset then 馃槀, I personally couldn鈥檛 and wouldn鈥檛 date my friend鈥檚 ex that would be weird as hell
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@SweetHeart01 I couldn't either... the history just makes everything weird. I'm not mad about anything though I only hope they don't make shit weird themselves
SweetHeart0118-21, F
@ChiefRunsWith40oz Yeah it鈥檚 probably a problem with them feeling weird with it themselves
LRain
It sounds like she wanted to be with him and you insulted her because you felt he was insulting you.. 馃槖 its kinda cold to ditch a dude for his friend.. but i guess at least she was honest about it?
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@LRain I never insulted her though 馃し or him. & She didn't really ditch me for him either. We broke up & dated other people after. She didn't ask me for his number until 3 months later
Sounds very much like defensiveness, maybe even some guilt, on his part
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@bijouxbroussard I questioned if guilt could be a part of it too. We've known each other since childhood & none of us have ever messed with each others exes before. I think that's why this one feels new even though I gave them my blessing.

Like maybe telling himself he doesn't need my blessing & that he took her from me is what makes him feel more secure about it?
Starcrossed41-45, F
Oof. Hope he gets his head out of his butt soon. :(
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@Starcrossed yeah me too 馃槖 seems like insecurity

 
Post Comment
 
44 people following
Math
Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
New Post
Associated Groups Category Members