I think I might've upset a friend of mine

I bring him with me when I visit my mom sometimes. She was there for him in some of his hardest times so he's always happy to see her.

This is the same friend who's dating my ex & my mom already knows that because I've told her before. So when we were all together he mentioned something about her so I told my mom "oh you know he got her pregnant now too?" & she looked at him like "woah the same girl you warned [i]him[/i] not to get pregnant back then?" She was just pointing out the irony 😂

It seemed like that was enough to bother him because he got kinda defensive 🤷 he was like "yeah because he couldn't hold on to her" & I told him "Why would I hold on to her? We didn't work out & neither of us wanted to be together. Why are you making it sound like she dumped me? 😂"

All he said was "nah you lost her" so I just laughed like "dude I didn't want her, that's not the same as losing her but alright then".

I feel like the little argument was petty in the first place but it kinda bugs me to think that he feels like he stole a girl from me that I couldn't keep.. that's not a very "friend-like" mentality.

Maybe he doesn't know that after we split up & she blatantly asked me for his phone number, I was the one who gave it to her 🤷 I thought it was weird hooking her up with my friend but that was my way of saying "screw it, I don't care"

It doesn't bother me still, but that was like 2 weeks ago & my homie hasn't talked to me since. I get the feeling that's what's bothering him 🤔 Sorry guys, just ranting ✌️

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Carlisle · F

The situation is super tense to be in

I’d keep my distance
There is nothing you both can say about the each other’s relationship which can’t be misinterpreted or misconstrued

It sucks but maybe keep your distance from them both

ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30

@Carlisle yeah I was kinda thinking that too. It's tough because his younger brother is my best friend & I'm close to the family. So I'd never cause any problems. It seems like he feels some type of way about the situation though

Carlisle · F

@ChiefWalksWith40oz I get it
He will feel like it’s disrespectful if you say you left her
And then she may get upset and say something making him feel like he’s in the middle
If you can let go of the official story. As in your side of the story for the sake of your friendship.
Maybe invite him out to a coffee to talk about it and make a pact never to mention it again.

From what it sounds like though
Your circle is heavily invested with these relationships
And somewhere someone will say something meaning to be funny
But won’t be funny to the other person

It’s really complicated.
Keep some distance for several months.
Only see the younger brother away from your family.
And just focus on your happiness and your own stuff.
I hope your sister is ok I haven’t been on for while.

Apologies for the long message it’s not really my place and if iv said anything out of line I apologise

ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30

@Carlisle oh wow I hadn't thought about that, me saying that I didn't want her might've bothered him too 🤔 but it wasn't in a bad way. We got along great, we just had different ways of showing feelings so we broke up. I still wonder if she feels weird about me being around but I've grown up with them since 1st grade 😂 not to sound like a toddler but.. [i]I was here first 😭[/i] 😂

I'll keep my distance though. I still see my homie sometimes but my ex I haven't seen since they first started dating. I'm pretty sure she's avoiding me lol.
The younger brother is the one I hang out with the most lately.
& My sister's doing great, I just saw her too 😌 plus I finally met her bf. He's a cool guy, we got along easily. I appreciate you asking.

Don't apologize though, seeing you in my notifications makes me smile every time 😏 you can talk all you want lol

Carlisle · F

@ChiefWalksWith40oz
Me too it’s always nice to see you here.

I want to add (maybe I shouldn’t)
That she they both (no matter how cool they are with you and vice versa) shouldn’t have gone there.
It’s like a number rule of mine.
It’s girl code
Boy code
Decent humanity code
Just don’t date your boyfriends mates
Or don’t date your mates ex girlfriend
Like that is a massive no no for me personally
It has happened to me
I had a best friend and we were so close
I was with someone for a long time
And we weren’t working out so we broke up
He didn’t take it well and one day he said how can you be friends with her and not me
Then he blurted out that they had been sleeping together.

It didn’t hurt as much that he had done this because I had ended it anyway
But it hurt more that my best friend who I would have done anything for did that to me. Would come to my house after and have coffee with me.
I kept civil
But after that I put a whole big distance between me and her.
She’s reached out to me several times and iv been kind and civil
But she lost my trust and right to be in my inner circle.

I’m so glad you sister is ok. 🤗

ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30

@Carlisle yeah personally I would never date any of my homies exes. That was always a big NO to me. In the past my friends never would've done it to me either so this is a first for us. I chose to overlook it because she didn't mean anything to me but I know if it was an ex who really hurt me then I definitely would feel betrayed. I wouldn't even call him my friend anymore.

I'm sorry you went through that though. If I were you I wouldn't be friends with that person anymore either. That's one of the worst ways to stab somebody in the back, to sit down with them & play friends afterwards. It's just cold. I commend you for keeping it civil. I wouldn't have.

You deserve the world, js 😘

Carlisle · F

@ChiefWalksWith40oz and you
🤗