Do you get nervous about accepting love?

I get so uptight if a guy starts to show me affection , or if he touches me. I like it ...but I get scared. My mind has been on autopilot of 'bad' and unworthy, my whole life. (From severe abuse growing up). It makes me feel love or goodness could never be for me. And I wish I knew how to change it, because it REALLY sucks to feel this. 🙁

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AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

Maybe you should speak to someone professionally if you feel you cannot change things on your own. You have to believe that you deserve something better than this. Someone better who can bring some joy into your life. Everyone else is not the person who hurt you so you shouldn't block someone else's chance at loving you.

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@AngelUnforgiven Thank you. It's ingrained, it was severe sadistic abuse ..that I barely deserve life, nevermind actual love. I've brought it up to therapist and they nod and offer near nothing. Im working on it though.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@Baybreeze perhaps you need to seek a different therapist

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@Justmeraeagain I'm going to soon. She's kind, but does not offer tips or methods to challenge my anxiety. Ty Rae

Achelois · F

Yes, I’m working on it though.

I struggle to let anyone in, hard to trust people or trust myself again.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

I'm glad that you are conscious of the issue, that it's not normal. That's part of the journey.

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

I'm nervous about physical touches because I normally only want cuddles but men always make it sexual way too soon. I don't want to be touched sexually unless I'm in such mood and that doesn't happen very often.

BrandonWyatt36 · 36-40, M

Again "Love is an Illusion" Coming from a Magician AND YES a "Tin Foil Hat" Wearer.... But that's just who I am LOL Bible even says your heart will Deceive you Sooo do with that what you will

SlippingAway · 46-50, F

I guess I am more nervous about being rejected or not loved

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@SlippingAway I hear ya. I'm also very nervous of that, so I never date😧

AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

@SlippingAway you have to take that leap. You are shorting yourself. You are going to look up one day and life will have passed you by. Be vulnerable for once.

SlippingAway · 46-50, F

@AngelUnforgiven I have been vulnerable a lot most of my life and I've had my heart broken as well when I have been. Not saying it's always going to be like that, but I have good reason to feel this fear from experience. It's not from lack of me being vulnerable if anything it's other people not being vulnerable with me.

peterlee · M

Not all men can read the cues. Many are still clumsy little boys inside. Cues can be leant with time and experience.

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