I honestly can't take the loneliness anymore

How long do you have to go it alone before it becomes unbearable? it's been closing in on 20 years since i've had any love in my life. 20 years without even holding hands or sharing a kiss, or even the slightest of connection moments. it's just been me, looking for love and spending everynight talking to myself alone in my room, longing for someone to hold or share a laugh with. but no, just me, trying my best to find love and do it sensibly even while watching piece after piece of me dying as the loneliness overwhelms more and more.
I know everyone goes through this and I probably have no right to complain.
But it does help a bit to share one's pain.
I try to never judge and be understanding and accepting of all kinds of people. I do my best to be the best person I can and to treat everyone fairly and with compassion.
I should probably just stop belly aching. it's time to take my meds and go to bed, i always dread when i wake up and realize where I am.
maybe tomorrow will be my day.
*Sigh* even hope feels kinda poisonous to me.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

I am becoming convinced the solution is to come up with a personal strategy that is based on embracing a singular world rather than feeling that it is a burden. It may seem like an over-simplification to suggest it is a mindset solution, but the more I spend time in this world, the more it seems to come down to that.

The idea isn't to shut off any possibilities of relationships or genuine friend groups, but not to feel diminished for remaining a single entity. There are always trade-offs and that "grass is greener of the other side" dynamic can really become a detrimental mind game in that it seems all would be better with a relationship and lots of friends. Reality suggests that what looks like ice-cream, rainbows, and warm socks on a cold winter night can be as much of a harrowing experience as being in a world-of-one, but for different reasons.

Take another look at hope and turn it over. It just needs to be fluffed.

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

@MarkPaul Beautifully put