Why is it that sometimes we do feel sorry, but something stops us from saying it out loud?

In some cases, it's pride. In other instances, it's fear.
Mostly for me, I am not sure if apologizing is the right thing to do. Not to use the excuse that my feelings are valid (even if they are), but because my inside is crying out that something needs to change but I know I have no reason to expect change from the other person.
I don't deserve bad treatment. But then again, neither does the other person.
It's a hard compromise when I feel accountability is one sided. But then again, I do not know what it's like to be a parent of a child like me.

(sigh)

Someone please teach me how to do life and thrive.

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being · 36-40, F

Maybe what stops us, sometimes, is the inability of the other side to genuinely receive it.
During my brief return home I have managed to tell my mother of how much I loved her many times. But slowly I discovered how she created a persona that would receive my words, but that was a roleplay and not the real her, as the real her do not hold the capacity of that space within her.

And so I realised how my inability to tell her "I love you" wasn't only from me, but I was sensitive enough to be able to understand her resistance. I think I was more fare before, when I was listening to hers. But I needed to do that, in order for things to shift, otherwise we would continue to perpetuate that same cycle forever. I'm not sure we're out the cycle, but some progress has been done.

There's no right way to do life, life is creative and dynamic. And beautiful, but that's just my description..:)

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Casheyane · 31-35, F

@dancingtongue And did you break it? :)

dancingtongue · 80-89, M

@Casheyane I think I did in some ways; more so with the younger than the older. The older required some tough love. Not as much as I should have. My youngest has done a far better job with his kids, imo. But I have a good relationship with both as adults, and both keep reminding me of lessons they learned from me -- more things I did than said, or feelings I demonstrated -- but both say they felt supported and guided without being dictated to.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@dancingtongue That must have been nice to hear from your children.
I'm glad for you.

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

I know why I don't say I'm sorry: I'm still stunned about the stupid thing I said or did and I'm just speechless! Yes, I do apologize later but "missing the moment" even makes me madder at myself.

BlueVeins · 22-25

As a guy with a violently fragile ego, yeah i get that feeling

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@BlueVeins Did you ever find it in you to try to change that?

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

🎶Sorry seems to be the hardest word🎶

Kokakola · 31-35, M

This is the right path for clarity and answer

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