i feel like i should be nott be here

I feel the same way a lot of the time. But these things are mental illness lying to you. I truly doubt you're a burden - you certainly aren't to me, or else I wouldn't have typed all this out. But it sounds like you might be depressed (although I'm not a doctor).

I don't know if it'll help, but you can talk to me if you want to. I promise you that you will not be burdening me, and it can be good to get it all out. It's ok if you don't want to. But we suicidal people have to stick together.

It's worth thinking about how much easier it is to be around people who are similar to you and have similar POV and tastes etc...because it implies that deep down we do like ourselves. And that's he most important thing. Think about things about you that you're attached to and like, it can be anything...like your taste in clothes or music or TV.

That's something that you need to explore first as no matter how much you implore to world, world does not show mercy, for you are the one who gives world it's life.

So just think what you wrote, as one written by the world or life itself to you.

For it's all just a perspective.

Even putting down the words in a private file should help.

I understand not wanting to talk to a bunch of strangers. 🫂

If you need someone to talk with, I will be glad to listen. Please don't give up on life.

You sound depressed. I would definitely suggest seeking professional help if that is an option for you.

You are valuable, as every one of us is.

What happened?

Wait wait wait hold on. What's going on?