I feel like I am owed

and I can't shake the feeling.
I feel like the universe owes me big time. and i just feel ignored
and I feel like things shouldn't be this way.
that everything we are living right now is a waste of energy that will come to nothing.

I don't think God can see us.
and we don't matter because "it's not about us". Our small little lives aren't the big picture, so nobody is really watching
Don't ask me what the big picuture is...I don't think I have a ticket to that particular theatre