How long is a piece of string?

@Strongtea Twice as long as half what?

Twice as long as half the total length. Sorry, it seemed much more intelligent when I was about 14@OliRos

@Strongtea But that is the difficulty. We are trying to find the total length.

Of course, if you have stumbled on half a piece of string, we could extrapolate from that.

I think your research is advancing the cause.

@OliRos I see what you did there 😂

@NerdySoph That is very reassuring.

@NerdySoph @OliRos

@Matt85 Don't send me kisses! That is not what I want!

@OliRos A punch in the kisser is what you probably deserve, my sweet! 🤣

@Jlhzfromep Trust you to bring up Black Holes.

@sarabee1995 🤷‍♀️ More that they were never there in the first place. 😂😂

@OliRos touché

@wildbill83 I think you need some lessons in string theory.

@Nimbus Interesting... with pi, we know where the answer begins but not where it ends.

With the traditional piece of string, we know where both extremities lie, but not the distance between them.

So, not at all like pi.

QED

@OliRos Thanks for that, I now feel better informed ;)

@Nimbus 😲 Shit! My plan to confuse the world is unraveling!

@justlooking2023 Are you musical?

@OliRos At one point i was.

@OliRos okay. Describe the string.

@SW-User I can tell you that it looks like string, feels like string, smells like string. If it could waddle or quack, it would waddle and quack like string. It is echt string.

The only thing I cannot tell you is how long it is.

And now I must get back to my law books and leave this research in your capable hands.

@Evened It was exactly too short.

@OliRos I guess we ran into a paradoxon now, how can it be exactly long and exactly too short at the same time 🤔

@Evened 🙄 Pay attention. It's length (longness) is exact, in that it is the only measurable distance between the two ends of the piece of string when it is laid in a straight line. That longness is indisputable.

However, the length represented by that indisputable longness is indisputably, and exactly, too short for the purpose of being the garment already referenced.

So, longness is exact. Shortness is exact.

QED

@Ontheroad "Up" what? Everest? Your arse? Very unlikely answer.

@OliRos As unlikely as the length of a piece of string.

@Ontheroad 🙄 It has been proven that the length of a piece of string is neither likely nor unlikely, but depends on how much string lies between the two ends. This is true in every case.

@ArtieKat 🤓 There's many a good tune played on an old organ... or so I'm told.

I try to avoid old organs.

@OliRos Fiddle! 😊

@ArtieKat Sticks! 🤣🤣

@OldBrit Is that improving the situation?

@OliRos it has

@OldBrit Excellent @ So ee are getting somewhere.

@StevetheSleeve Very true. Do you have one up your sleeve?

@OliRos Lol. My thoughts on this are pretty one-dimensional.

@StevetheSleeve That is the point.

@Shaveit 🤔 A whole string of whats? Pearls? Roadside restaurants? Vests?

Or theories?

@jackrabbit10 If it has any length, it has the potential to be a bit of string. Without length, it has the potential not to exist at all.

@Thevy29 😂😂 Pity there is no award for second-best answer.

@Jonjdw No, a tape worm, but it just wouldn't sit still until I stunned it with a hammer.

I might have been just a tad overzealous with my blow.

@KiwiBird 🙄 I bet that's your answer to everything, Douglas.

@OliRos Bingo.

Someone already posted my original reply. Ms Adams.

@KiwiBird 🤣🤣🤣

@SW-User More or less...

@jshm2 Nothing is ever long enough

@OliRos I missed a letter. There needs to be a standard. Then I could determine if mine met requirements.

@SW-User Is it easier for your balls to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a poor man to get served in the cocktail bar at The Randolph?

@OliRos It probably is. Prices are outrageous at The Randolph.

@sarabee1995 It's the theory of string...

@OliRos joke's on them. I have more.
Also, if I start with law enforcement there will be fewer people trying to catch me 🤟

@SW-User The only flaw in your plan. If you start with law enforcement, everyone will be out to get you.

@OliRos I'll take my chances