How do you not let yourself go when you spend every day wishing for d3ath?

I want to be beautiful but at the same time, I want d3ath so badly I can't bring myself to think of anything else. I can't motivate myself to exercise, because all I want to do is unalive. Eat healthy? Why? I'm this 🤏🏻 close to suℹcide.

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AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

If there was someone that you were attracted to who made you feel beautiful, who told you every waking moment how beautiful you are, made you the center of their world. I mean they just came out of nowhere and swept you off of your feet. And they are everything that you've ever dreamed of. Would you still feel the way that you are feeling you think? Or What do YOU think would make you feel and see yourself differently?