Read this if you want you can laugh at me if you want

Ok so I have PTSD from abuses I suffered growing up and mixed with my other neurological conditions it's taken a toll.

I get anxious then I close off kinda regress a bit I sometimes regress when I get over excited but for the most part I'm ok.
It's embarrassing I can't really control it I just have remove myself from the situation.

I still struggle with flashbacks and nightmares it's hell insomnia joins too sometimes. I'm lucky to be living with a group who understand and help me even if it's just sitting up with me and chatting.

From being basically manipulated to fit whatever role those who abused me wanted I can find myself slipping into those again it's frustrating to feel like I'm not fully in control like there's different versions of me and whichever fits the mood or desires of the other people takes center stage.

Which leads me to my personally most hated trait my self esteem and eagerness to please others I'm getting better at saying no and not folding to pressure still happens though.

I'm a cocktail of issues and I am working to get better but it's slow going

Thanks if you read this