I am sad that I’ll never have a beautiful wedding in a beautiful wedding dress. Looking beautiful. And my groom looking at me and being in awe

My ex was always paranoid that he wasn't good enough for me. I loved him and that was enough for me. But his insecurities led to him accusing me of cheating, constantly asking if i was talking to other guys, asking me if he was attractive all the time, despite the fact he did nothing to keep himself fit or healthy. He drank because it made him depressed and that caused so many problems in our relationship. In the end he had made himself into someone that i didn't want to be with just because of his poor self worth. Its a self fulfilling prophecy. So be careful with this, its not fun to be around and may end up pushing him away.