I’m honestly so tired and idk what to do

Sorry if this is a burden to anyone, if you don’t wanna hear someone complain please just skip.
I’m 19 and life just feels so scary yet set in stone at the same time.
I just recently signed off on my first job apprenticeship for the next 3 years because I genuinely don’t know what else to do, knowing that a dream job doesn’t exist for me because my dream job is any job that pays as much as possible with as little work as possible so I can enjoy my free time.
I’m at an art school (so to speak) currently and I dislike being there so much, I was always the odd one out but not finding comfort in an art school was just a little too much for me I guess, also I feel like it has sucked my desire to draw and express myself right out of me so I resorted to reading and writing. Anyway, I don’t have friends there other than the two people I sit next to who always make me feel like they’re tolerating and not appreciating my presence and I miss my bestie.
As if that wasn’t enough, I’m going through a friendship breakup and it just hurts.
Also seeing people romanticise being lonely when it truly gets to you at some point doesn’t help either, it hurts that they have a choice while you simply don’t.
Oh also I don’t wanna date men but still do but that’s a topic for another post lol
Idk why I’m rambling on about this, I guess things just get too much and I need to vent somewhere and this place seems rather quiet so thanks for reading.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Let's summarize...

1. You have secured an apprentice, but it's not your "dream job," so you feel lost.
2. It's not your dream job because it doesn't pay as much as possible and give you the maximum amount of time off.
3. You're in art school by choice because you like to draw... but not anymore.
4. You have friends there, but you feel like they don't appreciate your presence.
5. You resent people who "romanticize being lonely" because you don't like being lonely.
6. You want to date (men), but don't.
7. You don't know why you are rambling, but you are.

Attention: High Maintenance Alert 📢>>> This is a high maintenance alert. That is all.

spencer6 · 22-25, F

@MarkPaul thanks for the summary but about the dream job, I truly mean it. The apprenticeship is the best thing I could do because other than being a rich dads daughter and working at his company but not really working, there truly is no other job that has as many amounts of benefits and while I do want to work, I genuinely can’t think of a job that truly would fulfil me so instead of trying to find such job that most likely doesn’t exist because it’s work after all no matter how you look at it, I think I made the best choice given my circumstances and possibilities, the issue is just that I wonder what else there could be, more hypothetically than having an actual interest in taking those possibilities and chances because I know they probably wouldn’t benefit me in the long run