I'm engaged but have a serious crush on someone Hello. Im 23 and I'm engaged to my 31 year old...

If it turns out that I just think you're cute then maybe that just shows that somethings wrong in my current relationship.

It's ok for you to be attracted to other men. It doesn't have to mean that there's something wrong in your relationship.

I'm hoping I'm just confused and my brain is getting mixed up between having a crush or just really liking someone as a person.

It could very well be that you're brain is tricking you into having intimate feelings. We all have "feel good" chemicals in our brains that can effect how we view and understand things.

Granted, you may very well find this person attractive, but you don't really know anything about him. You're only seeing one small aspect of this man. He could be a total douche for all you know, so I would not do anything that could jeopardize your relationship with the wonderful man you already have.

Add On:

I also want to say that I see your age is 22-25. This is just the beginning. You're going to be attracted to a lot more men in the years to come, so you need to be smart about how you feel and react.

Catlady31 · 22-25, F

Just wanted to add, I've even written a message to show him if I ever decide to open up to him. This is the message:

"Firstly I just wanted to say thank you for the past year because there's been so many times where you've made me feel better when I'm having a bad day. I always hope you're here whenever I'm getting the train, but I realised something recently and it's made me really confused. I've realised just how disappointed I feel when it's not you, I know it sounds pathetic but there's just something about you that I can't work out. I know it's just basic conversation whenever you say hello, but for some reason I find myself wanting to see you. I've also started feeling guilty for having these feelings because even though I don't know what the feelings mean, I'm engaged and in all my past relationships I've always been completely loyal to the point I don't even look at other people with attraction. I'm just hoping that it's just the fact it means a lot to me that a random person makes effort to talk to me and check if I'm ok, and my brain is just getting confused about it. If it turns out that I just think you're cute then maybe that just shows that somethings wrong in my current relationship. I also have no idea how telling you this is going to help at all, but saying nothing isn't helping so I might as well try talking to you about it."

SomeMichGuy · M

I have no control over this

What we feed, grows.
What we starve, dies.

You can choose to feed it or starve it.

May you have the insight and strength to do what is right.

originnone · 61-69, M

and you'll have more. It doesn't stop anytime soon. Just be advised....crushes are more about something internal happening to you, not a connection with the other person.

saintsong · 41-45, F

First things first find out who you love romantically and who you love as a brother like platonically and then see if they are also willing to be on the same page. Control your hormones you are allowed to love your friends brothers platonic relationships deeply without a hint of lust nor romantically, but if this so called friend wants All or nothing then let him go you don't have to be entitled always to feel special, he is to be free to choose too and so is your fiance!!! If your fiance can accept this friendship without feeling insecure or jealous and you reassure him that your romantic relationship with him is seclusive and there is nobody else who you love quite like him romantically then you've got it made...Communication is key and staying true to your morals can help you to have it all... but if he says No, or your fiance tells you not to go there then respect the relationship dynamics...Please read the Song of Solomon inthe bible and the book of Hosea... the Song of Solomon ends badly where sheol is as unyielding as love sheol being hell so dont do the stalker thing even if everyone else is doing it its a trap and only God can fill that hole of my lover is mine and I am His! There I hope this all helps God bless!

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

Ticket dude probably hates cats.
Does that change your crush?

SW-User

I get this with a couple of guys over the last few years. I’m single though and in my 30s. The two guys I liked are younger than me in their 20s or about 30 ish. They look at me and I look at them and makes me feel good. It’s also good to know I still have it in my mid to late 30s. It’s not what I call a crush although some people will say it’s like a crush, a crush to me is deeper. It’s just something that we look forward to.

saintsong · 41-45, F

Ahh I see you said you're committed and engaged but have a KEY WORD CRUSH ON SOMEONE ELSE!!!!! IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR PEACE OF MIND WALK AWAY FROM THE CRUSH TEMPTATION APPEARS NICE BUT IS ROTTEN IN THE END. You need to develop boundaries and morals that are good for all especially between you and your fiance.

saintsong · 41-45, F

I've been there where you are when I was 19 years old. I ended up Selling my soul to the Devil vying for love by being nice. Because I felt entitled to have what we first had....Don't write letters to this stranger like I did, its only evidence for the spys!!! Talk this over with the one who really matters YOUR FIANCE!!! IF HE OBJECTS TO THIS RELATIONSHIP SEVER ALL TIES AND BE FAITHFUL TO HIM AND ENJOY YOUR FIANCE. Please read the Song of Solomon and the beginning of the book of Hosea Please don't make the same mistakes that I did in your position! Jesus loves you He is mine and I am His, there is no greater love than the love of God not even the flirtation of an older mans. GOD BLESS BE SAFE

WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F

Could it be that you are engaged… so you realize this relationship you’re in could very well be your last?

Is there something lacking with your partner? Something missing?

MsSwan

I also want to say that I see your age is 22-25. This is just the beginning. You're going to be attracted to a lot more men in the years to come, so you need to be smart about how you feel and react.

SW-User

Nothing wrong with having a crush. You are only human with genuine feelings, you are perfectly imperfect

eMortal · M

There’s no advice for you except, ”you’ll learn with experience”. For now deal with it as you see fit.

Teirdalin · 31-35

It's not a crush, you just miss your train grandpa.

SW-User

Whatever it is, he's way too old for you and it can never actually go anywhere. Your logical mind knows that so just distance yourself from him if you find that being friends is affecting you to the point of jeopardizing your real relationship.

GuyWithOpinions · 31-35, M

You got engaged to young i think.

babyboy42 · 41-45, M

hi wanna chat ??? pm in my inboxs please

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