I'm engaged but have a serious crush on someone

Hello. Im 23 and I'm engaged to my 31 year old partner, we've been together for nearly 2 years and have lived together from the start. I feel really secure, we have 3 cats together, a nice place and he's got a good job. There's no reason that I'm aware of that I should be looking at other people. Ive been in a few serious relationships and have never looked at anyone else with attraction whilst in a relationship because I'm usually very loyal naturally. However, I met someone and I can't stop thinking about him. He's a ticket gate worker at the train station, I've seen him for about a year and he always says hello, asks how I am, about my day and his day etc. Just basic friendly conversations. But I've never seen him do that with any other customers going through the ticket gates. It feels nice, feeling special, like a random person cares about me and wants to check I'm doing ok. So this has been going on for about a year, however in the last month or so, I've noticed I've started hoping that he's working whenever I'm getting the train, and I've realised how disappointed I feel if he's not there. And now I can't stop thinking about him and I want to go get a train just for the sake of it for a chance to see him. I don't even know his name, if he's single or anything. Also I think he's 40-50 years old... which has always been way too old for me, yet I see past that with him. He's just so nice and makes me feel happy and I get butterflies after seeing him. I'm hoping I'm just confused and my brain is getting mixed up between having a crush or just really liking someone as a person. I feel so guilty because I'm engaged, but I have no control over this. I obviously wouldn't act on anything unless I ended things with my partner but that's not an option in my mind. I just don't know what to do with these thoughts, they're only getting stronger

saintsong · 41-45, F

First things first find out who you love romantically and who you love as a brother like platonically and then see if they are also willing to be on the same page. Control your hormones you are allowed to love your friends brothers platonic relationships deeply without a hint of lust nor romantically, but if this so called friend wants All or nothing then let him go you don't have to be entitled always to feel special, he is to be free to choose too and so is your fiance!!! If your fiance can accept this friendship without feeling insecure or jealous and you reassure him that your romantic relationship with him is seclusive and there is nobody else who you love quite like him romantically then you've got it made...Communication is key and staying true to your morals can help you to have it all... but if he says No, or your fiance tells you not to go there then respect the relationship dynamics...Please read the Song of Solomon inthe bible and the book of Hosea... the Song of Solomon ends badly where sheol is as unyielding as love sheol being hell so dont do the stalker thing even if everyone else is doing it its a trap and only God can fill that hole of my lover is mine and I am His! There I hope this all helps God bless!