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Mildly AdultUpset
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Trying to improve, but it doesn't work

I had a porn addiction during the pandemic and it stopped when I started socializing with my friends I haven't talked with after a few months. when the pandemic finally stopped, I finally get the freedom to leave at my home and go to school to socialize. There was this girl my friend introduced us to. She was quiet and shy, so I came to her and told her "It's okay to be here. We don't bite." When she heard that she was happy because she never get to hear those words. After a few days, we started talking together without them and shared mutual interest. after a few voice calls, she confessed her love to me. I didn't know what to do, but declined for now because we were both confused about our relationship at that because we kept on flirting. We had our first fight and we had a conversation about it. Once that was finished, we started dating. Time skip to somewhere around 5 months and she blocked me because she was uncomfortable with me from the dirty chats, because we would tend to do it to the point where it became an addiction to do it every day. Now I'm afraid from ever looking at pornography and hentai because I don't want to make the people I cherish uncomfortable and think I'm a creep. Everyday I would tend to self harm myself. My Ex's friend decided to befriend me and when he heard my side of the story, he felt bad, so he decided to invite my over to his church because there's a peer counseling. I feel like I don't deserve this after the sins I have committed. I will never forgive myself for making my first love uncomfortable.
Xalvadora · 18-21, F
I've been kicked out of group chats just because I was making others uncomfortable. I hated myself for that, yet I still tend to make others uncomfortable. Now, I'm distancing myself from any Discord group chats and other group chats in general.
I didn't have irl friends because I never socialize.
I get what you're feeling, even though I hadn't had a situation quite like yours.

Maybe you can try talking to your ex.
Somestranger1 · 18-21, M
@Xalvadora The thing is, that won't happen anymore because she hates me... There are some of her friends that wants to hurt me, but there are some who still sees a bit of good on me and wants to help me even tho i don't deserve it.
fakable · T
sperm needs to be dumped periodically. it's the effect of hormones. that's how the human body is designed.

find the best way for you to dump sperm. that's all you need to do.
Fukfacewillie · 51-55, M
Maybe try to date a girl and enjoy her company and let nature take its course without chats. Kissing is plenty fun. Relax.

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