I seriously am about to give up

I'm so scared of death, but I can't take this anymore. I can only vent here and it's painful but people atleast listen, I barely have one or two friends in real life and I almost always stay closed in my room crying about how ill never be seen as a boy, how much my mother is dissapointed in me and wishes I've never changed, how my father doesn't even care if I'm feeling bad, school is draining me and I csnt keep going like this, it hurts.