I feel hated and used

I think everyone dislikes me or that maybe I give off bad vibes. I don’t talk much but I do try to socialise and help if people needed them. I feel like I’m a used garbage. After people used me, I get thrown away. I feel used at home, college and even my workplace. There’s no safe place for me to cry quietly except in the bathroom.

My emotions kept piling up until my hand is shaky so I stop my work for a bit and search for website that I can vent to. I don’t tell anyone about my emotions except for my boyfriend. He is kind and understanding but he also have a lot on his plate. Not everything is about me so I want to listen to him too so I came here to vent and let it out.

Sometimes people went home and only I’m the only one who stay to clean up and get left behind. Sometimes I get shout at just because I’m an easier target. Sometimes people cut me off because I’m boring and don’t know how to have fun. I don’t have social anxiety since I can talk to anyone, I just don’t like crowded space or walking in groups but that makes me look like a loner.

If I feel sad or angry, I just take a nap that’s my routine. If I still feel upset after taking a nap, I will tell my boyfriend what’s on my mind. But this week I didn’t tell him what happen so he won’t be worried about me. I’m so tired, even after I wake up I still feel tired. I should go take another nap after I finish my work. Thank you to those who are reading this.