i sometimes regret introducing my friends to each other (help pls) (i feel so selfish) (i hate being jealous)
i feel selfish for saying this but i sometimes regret introducing my friends to each other. as an infp i find it hard to make friends and im also often insecure abt what other people think of me. i also find it hard for me to communicate on my own wiith other people, especially those whom i dont know that well. recently i made a new friend from my church and i introduced him to a few of my other friends. he seems to enjoy talking to them way more, and have way more (passionate) interests in common with them. i feel annoying and in the way. i have this close friend whom i'll call sarah (not her real name) who seems to befriend them friends i make very eagerly. they'd have convo's in dms and stuff like that and i cant help but feel a bit insecure, like why cant i have that? did i do something wrong?
there was once a group of 8 of us went out together, and went to do an escape room. four of us go to the same school and had a rehearsal for graduation on that day so we agreed to meet the other four at the train station nearest to the escape room, which is around 4 stops from the train station at our school. we all waited for each other while some of us bought food except for sarah who went to the escape room's train station. okay fair, she wanted to check out the route to the escape room. she met two of our friends, john (my friend whom i've known for practically all my life), and steve (a new friend i've had for less than a month) but for the duration of the walk she kept herself firmly in between the both of them. okay, whatever.
during the escape room, we had to seperated into three different 'cells'. she ofc dragged the two of them into one of the cells with her. whatever, maybe it was just a coincidence, plus, i was already feeling a bit down and maybe she didnt want me to dampen the mood. after the escape room, i was feeling a bit more chatty which is kinda rare for me. i tried to walk in a line with sarah steve and john, more specifically in between sarah and steve. i managed to for a bit but sarah seemed like she wasnt the most pleased with my presence, and i eventually got squeezed out of the line, it was like sarah was edging me out of the line. man that really fucking hurt. i just lagged behind the group for the rest of the walk to lunch. no one really cared which is fine tbh im used to it, plus ppl got stuff to talk abt with each other yk?
there was this other friend we recently made, i'll call him tom. for a few weeks, sarah would talk about nothing but tom, or things related to tom. there was once she even straight up told me she thought tom considered her a 'best friend'. man i felt like curling up into a ball and sobbing. she would talk about inside jokes and stuff like that and it just really hurt my feelings.
i think im just a bit petty tbvh but all these little things really sting :/ i hope i become more immune cuz i rly cant afford breaking down every day or staying up till unholy hours overthinking and it's becoming irritating.
there was once a group of 8 of us went out together, and went to do an escape room. four of us go to the same school and had a rehearsal for graduation on that day so we agreed to meet the other four at the train station nearest to the escape room, which is around 4 stops from the train station at our school. we all waited for each other while some of us bought food except for sarah who went to the escape room's train station. okay fair, she wanted to check out the route to the escape room. she met two of our friends, john (my friend whom i've known for practically all my life), and steve (a new friend i've had for less than a month) but for the duration of the walk she kept herself firmly in between the both of them. okay, whatever.
during the escape room, we had to seperated into three different 'cells'. she ofc dragged the two of them into one of the cells with her. whatever, maybe it was just a coincidence, plus, i was already feeling a bit down and maybe she didnt want me to dampen the mood. after the escape room, i was feeling a bit more chatty which is kinda rare for me. i tried to walk in a line with sarah steve and john, more specifically in between sarah and steve. i managed to for a bit but sarah seemed like she wasnt the most pleased with my presence, and i eventually got squeezed out of the line, it was like sarah was edging me out of the line. man that really fucking hurt. i just lagged behind the group for the rest of the walk to lunch. no one really cared which is fine tbh im used to it, plus ppl got stuff to talk abt with each other yk?
there was this other friend we recently made, i'll call him tom. for a few weeks, sarah would talk about nothing but tom, or things related to tom. there was once she even straight up told me she thought tom considered her a 'best friend'. man i felt like curling up into a ball and sobbing. she would talk about inside jokes and stuff like that and it just really hurt my feelings.
i think im just a bit petty tbvh but all these little things really sting :/ i hope i become more immune cuz i rly cant afford breaking down every day or staying up till unholy hours overthinking and it's becoming irritating.
22-25, F
