Struggles & Identity > Life > Feeling Stressed

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Having a bad day so please please be nice

Please I beg you be nice because I'm having a terrible day and drove home crying. I'm hoping I would come on here for positive support considering I don't have many friends.

Long story short I had a presentation today in class and my teacher humiliated me in front of the class. Not bad enough you're already nervous. On top of that, I was having technical issues and the PowerPoint didn't look the same on the projection screen. At the end of my presentation, my teacher was asking me questions and kept grilling me making me more nervous. So literally while I'm still up there presenting she told the class that we need to be more prepared and need to do better at explaining. After I sat down feeling stupid feeling everyone's eyes on me.

Next couple of people went up and she didn't grill them or ask them anything? Then halfway again to the class " Those who were prepared thank you blah blah blah" I know she was talking about me. At the end of class asked to see me in front of the whole class and was like you know better... I told her I'm sorry I was already nervous and then having technical issues. I even answered her question that I couldn't in front of everyone and told her I know my stuff I was very nervous. Mind you people are in the room listening. I was HUMILIATED. She apologized to me and said I'm sorry if I embarrassed you...... Like really??, you know you did if you even have to say that. I cried the whole way home. I don't even want to show my face next week but I know I have to be strong and do so. I don't even want to look at her.

Please I need positive uplifting words and I'm coming to all of you for some so please be kind. And I will pay it forward when any of you need to chat or need encouraging words. Thank you for reading. P.S I go to a university

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DownTheStreet · 51-55, M

The teacher is the failure - not you.

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DownTheStreet · 51-55, M

@Doglover44 it’s really unfortunate, it’s totally inappropriate behavior for a teacher. There’s nothing wrong with shying away from doing it in that class again, but don’t let that teacher spoil it for you with the other classes

Doglover44 · F

@DownTheStreet Thank you so much! Im going to keep saying that as a mantra "The teacher is the failure not me" It's upsetting me and makes me feel like a failure.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@Doglover44 You should ask her that. I'd love to hear her answer.

Jeremi · 41-45, M

that actually happened to me once. only it wasn't in college it was while I was working in a call center I had 3 weeks of peanut gallery training and then shadowing with this lady whom I found out after training would be my team lead. and all she did was rant about personal stuff in stead of training me and gossiping about people behind their backs.
my first week, I didn't get that many calls because I was new and they were testing the waters with me. same thing second week and I'm barely getting by. third week, release the hounds. I'm screwing up on shit that I wasn't trained on, the people around me didn't want to be bothered by the new guy. the works. so I'm just winging it from past call center experiences. right?
next thing you know, my team lead is sending out emails pointing out faults that I made (but didn't use my name) as an example of certain things NOT to do when handling our particular clients. I just bit my tongue. "new person jitters".
one day I catch up with her outside smoking and I just went at her: "do you have a beef with me or something?" and we talked and she apologized, and then she said: "I wasn't trying to put you on the spot; I was pointing out issues that people tend to make but don't think about." I snubbed her off, but years later I figure out what she meant.
you have the make the best of what you are working with. and that's exactly what you did and at least you pulled off, with your head held high. my team lead and your teacher could have just handled their approach more professionally. yeah, you may have lost a battle but there is a war coming, inside you, and this was just training to help you win it. you got this!

Doglover44 · F

@Jeremi well I'm so sorry you even had to go through that. I do appreciate you though telling me this and perhaps it's for a reason. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that goes through things like this. So thank you again for sharing your story I greatly appreciate it. Whenever you need someone to talk to and encourage your word I got you!

Jeremi · 41-45, M

@Doglover44
you're welcome. I got your back too

SomeMichGuy · M

She likely is just trying to push the content and is not seeing students as emotional beings.

She might be unable to understand, preoccupied with her own shit, etc.

I think you *were* brave. If you are going to fail, *in class* is FAR better than *at a job*.

I had a grad class in electrical engineering, and we had to make presentations. [b]Even though they [u]knew[/u] the presentation room and saw others have issues showing their presentations,[/b] MANY presenters had major tech issues.

I made simple transparencies, used a standard overhead projector, and lost no time or points to screwing around with "oh, you actually needed a different dongle to connect an X to a Y" or software interoperability issues, etc.

I'm not suggesting you do that, but having *had* a technical issue, I encourage you to check out if anything works, beforehand, AND make color copies of your screens on std blank transparencies ("slides"...but not Ektachrome...) as a lower-tech *backup*. [And make sure there's an overhead projector there.]

It's ok. And you soldiered through it.

You have already died of embarrassment; let it alone, because you can't change the past, but you CAN change how you approach the future!

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Doglover44 · F

@SomeMichGuy again thank you so much for your kind words and the time for you to sit here and respond I truly appreciate it. It takes nothing to be kind believe me in the kind of person that remembers every kind of thing anyone has ever done for me. God bless you and I hope I don't offend you by saying that.

SomeMichGuy · M

@Doglover44 No, it does not offend me in the least!

SomeMichGuy · M

@Doglover44 ...and thank you for your very gracious reply.

Diotrephes · 70-79, M

@Doglover44 Two of the important skills are money managemnt and public speaking. It takes a lot of worth to become proficient at both of them. Your teacher may have come across as a jerk but she has actually done you a very big favor. It shows the importance of practice and review before a test audience, even if it's just one person. The intent is to discover what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong. So, accept the criticism, and the praise, with a smile and a "thank you" and, over time, you will be amazed at the improvements you have made.

Imagine if you were to stumble that badly in front of a business audience and it cost you your job. So, never get upset when you are criticized. If people didn't care they would simply ignore you and let you fail. They want you to be successful when they point out your apparent short-comings.

Maybe you and one or more of your classmates, or even family members, can form a buddy club where you can each practice before each other. I never did that when I was in school and suffered as a result.

Doglover44 · F

@Diotrephes thank you for reading and responding to my post and giving me your opinion. I appreciate it

CestManan · 46-50, F

You handled it well given the circumstances.
I think a lot of people would have told her, "Well excuse the hell out of me" 🤬

I imagine the other students were probably thinking, "I hope I am not next", like they were concerned that the teacher would act like a bich towards them. Of course when people stare at us after we are "corrected" it is very stressful.

IF this happens again, maybe you could say, "Could we discuss this after class so we don't have to take up other people's time?"

That way it make HER look like the bad guy for wanting to waste class time arguing with you about the presentation. The other students will think, "Yeah teacher, I want to get my own presentation out of the way!" Cause don't nobody like having to get up in front of a live audience for anything usually.

If this is a college class, maybe discuss the matter with admins?

Doglover44 · F

@CestManan Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I did the best I could do I just felt stupid. Sure after I went though everyone did an amazing job. Go figure.

CestManan · 46-50, F

@Doglover44 It can be difficult to think of a good response when we are stressed.

BalthazarBlake · 56-60, M

This is university?
If such an event happened and I had been present, then I would have walked out of her class and reported her. Very unprofessional. You don't have to put up with her behaviour, please find your self worth, it's inside you. This isn't high school, you're at uni preparing for your future.

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Doglover44 · F

@BalthazarBlake Thank you. I hate confrontation so I doubt I'll do anything.

Diotrephes · 70-79, M

@Doglover44 IMO, you should use this as motivation to strengthen your ability to handle criticism. So, form a study group of friends, family members, classmates, etc., and practice giving presentations. Ask them to tell you what they like and to roast you over the coals for what they don't like. And also ask them to give you suggestions as to how you can improve.

If you do that on a continous basis (as long as you can get an audience) you will be surprised at how much you will have improved and how much confidence you will have gained in yourself.

Here's some homework:

https://www.success.com/do-these-12-things-before-your-next-speech-or-presentation/

https://www.success.com/the-power-of-self-awareness-with-kris-carr/

https://www.success.com/strategies-to-build-self-awareness-as-a-leader/

https://www.success.com/get-over-your-fear-of-public-speaking/

https://www.success.com/how-i-finally-overcame-my-fear-of-public-speaking/

https://www.success.com/afraid-of-public-speaking-7-tips-to-do-it-well/

https://www.success.com/5-habits-to-help-you-handle-rejection-gracefully/

https://www.success.com/a-manual-for-dealing-with-rejection/

https://harveymackayacademy.com/a-good-speech-is-like-a-pencil-it-has-a-point/

https://www.blackenterprise.com/this-design-tool-creates-beautiful-business-presentations-with-a-single-click/

https://www.blackenterprise.com/present-like-pro-3-tips-mastering-professional-presentations/

https://www.blackenterprise.com/first-quarter-presentations-how-to-be-a-hit/

There are countless articles that you can easily search that will give you lots of useful information.

BalthazarBlake · 56-60, M

@Doglover44 Of course, it isn't a good way in dealing with student, at least I don’t believe it is. But maybe a change of mindset for you and take the criticism to mind, but not to heart.

ShadowWorker · 61-69, F

You handled yourself better than I would of. The teacher was totally wrong!! No way should you feel like you can't show your face again. Screw that! You didn't do a thing wrong... don't give her that power over you. Now you see her in a different light... just do your best and smile at her.
❤✌⚘

Doglover44 · F

@ShadowWorker Aww thank you. I appreciate it truly.

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Crap stuff from your Tutor who could have gone about the whole thing far more constructively, even if they were unimpressed.

Don't let it get to you. Public speaking takes practice especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
And if you have to present you might have to pretend to be somebody different entirely for the duration.

Tech. issues are a nightmare. So in future try not to rely on them just in case. Always best to have a flipchart and markers on standby so you can physically demonstrate the point you're trying to make.

Every 'failure' helps to guide us in the right direction the next time it comes around.
I can't explain your Tutors behaviour. It wasn't helpful in the slightest.

Chin up chook ! You'll have better days 😉

Doglover44 · F

@Picklebobble2 Thank you very much for your kind words. I'm so happy to see everyone being so kind to me during this time. I'm forever grateful.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

I'm so sorry you have such an asshat to a teacher. I have been roasted by teachers in front of the class too. What are they even thinking? How is humiliation gonna help us improve?

Good on you for standing up for yourself though! She owed you a sincere apology.

You're not the one who should be ashamed. You did nothing wrong!! She did!

Keep stand up for yourself and go to the principal with your parents if it continues!

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Doglover44 · F

@Queendragonfly Thank you kindly

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Doglover44 · F

@Queendragonfly haha this made me laugh. Thank you I needed that. Well Im hoping they are doing a feedback survey at the end then.

4meAndyou · F

Please don't be upset. The teacher is the one who has issues...she is obviously a bully who smelled fear.

A similar thing happened to me in art school, in my design class. Our assignment was to make a sculpture of repetitive shapes, such as circle, square, or triangle, out of plexiglass.

The teacher forced me to stand in front of the class and he absolutely humiliated me. By the time he got done with me I was crying in front of the whole class. He NEVER apologized.

Some professors let their tiny bit of power thrill them, and go to their heads.

Doglover44 · F

@4meAndyou thank you for taking the time and responding to me I greatly appreciate it. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

Lostpoet · M

Women are cruel a man would never do that. I'm only joking.

She should know better, and later on when it no longer bothers you so much after class you should tell her how much her bad judgement affected your progress and as a teacher she should be ashamed of herself.

Some people think you should take open criticism, and you should, but for her to repeatedly bring it up and try to make an example of you is wrong.

Doglover44 · F

@Lostpoet thank you so much for your kind words and forever grateful for everyone stepping up and being encouraging to me during these tough times. And I also agree there is a right way to handle things in a wrong way and I don't believe she handled them correctly. Again thank you kindly.

Lostpoet · M

@Doglover44 She definitely handled things wrong, and unless she's a first year teacher she really should have known better. You are adults she shouldn't try and treat you like a child.

Doglover44 · F

@Lostpoet again thank you.

Lyfis2live

Listen to the Mantra by user DownThe Street while performing the exercise again in the class.

Bearsfan67 · 56-60, M

Im siding with you and against the teacher on this one. I have high standards but berating you over tech is not the right way to handle this. Nor is sarcasm. An offer for an extension or help would have been the appropriate response. Only good learning here is sometimes you’ll have to deal with unreasonable people and learn to handle it without being discouraged.

Doglover44 · F

@Bearsfan67 Thank you. I know she is older and has an old-school approach to teaching but to do that I felt terrible about myself. Thank you for your kind words I appreciate you.

Penny · 46-50, F

sorry you had a bad day. hope it gets better

Doglover44 · F

@Penny thank you Penny. I truly appreciate it.

TrunkZ · 56-60, M

It was wrong of her to level criticisms publicly. Your performance is nobody's business but yours. She should know better and should have behaved better. Probably why she apologized.