Update from my last post "Got caught twice, suicide is all I think about now"
Last post: Got fired from work. Next day, got caught stealing by my narcissist family, got bullied hard. https://similarworlds.com/life/i-hate-my-life/4810803-Got-caught-twice-suicide-is-all-I-think-about-now
I've returned the last money I stole back without my brother knowing but I passed my sorry to my dad, not sure if he did tell him. I just couldn't say sorry to narcissist's face...it's just going to inflate his ego more and he'll bully me about it forever. The next day, my brother changed the door lock in his room. That was his answer...him flaunting his superiority by accusing me as a thief/criminal. I made a bad decision sure, and it's my very first time ever in my life to steal money from someone, and I can't give back the rest anymore because I already used that money to survive. If he knew me after all these years that were together as siblings, he would know that that's not the real me. But I just realized how much he only cared about himself and only used people for his own gain. He has always been like that, I just forgot about it due to years of manipulations, lies, and gaslighting. Now he was just deflecting what he used to do (he stole way bigger money from my parents, never paid them back nor the people he borrowed money from), and not only that, he's been throwing away all the gifts I gave him. His narc wife was helping him too. She has put away all their stuff out of my sight, even their stuff in the spaces we've been sharing together. Well, she's obviously treating me like a criminal now. Typical flying monkey narcissist.
Like I said in my last post, my current situation is I'm having severe money issues, I can't pay for my medications anymore, my pet has an incoming surgery I couldn't even pay for, experienced extreme burnout from interviews/job hunting to the point that I had a nervous breakdown, and I can't get my life together no matter what I did...but no one in my family understands or could empathize with me. I was only blamed, and shamed. I know what I did is wrong but like I said, I would never have done it in the first place if my situation wasn't like this. I've been trying so hard to get out of here but life sucks, and I've been stuck in this downward spiral for so long.
I think I was only used as a supply to keep him from being bored in life, and to take all of his responsibilities. He needed a game buddy, I was there. He's bored, and wants to go out, he would ask me because I was conveniently there. Now that he's got a wife, she's his new supply now even though they are both narcissists. By discarding the gifts I gave him, I just have been discarded too. It just upsets me that they're doing all these petty things. But he's still secretly hoovering, giving me looks, trying to know what I've been up to lately. But still, I guess those years that were together meant nothing to him. In my parent's eyes, he will always be the good one who can never do wrong. Time to move on without this prick.
I've returned the last money I stole back without my brother knowing but I passed my sorry to my dad, not sure if he did tell him. I just couldn't say sorry to narcissist's face...it's just going to inflate his ego more and he'll bully me about it forever. The next day, my brother changed the door lock in his room. That was his answer...him flaunting his superiority by accusing me as a thief/criminal. I made a bad decision sure, and it's my very first time ever in my life to steal money from someone, and I can't give back the rest anymore because I already used that money to survive. If he knew me after all these years that were together as siblings, he would know that that's not the real me. But I just realized how much he only cared about himself and only used people for his own gain. He has always been like that, I just forgot about it due to years of manipulations, lies, and gaslighting. Now he was just deflecting what he used to do (he stole way bigger money from my parents, never paid them back nor the people he borrowed money from), and not only that, he's been throwing away all the gifts I gave him. His narc wife was helping him too. She has put away all their stuff out of my sight, even their stuff in the spaces we've been sharing together. Well, she's obviously treating me like a criminal now. Typical flying monkey narcissist.
Like I said in my last post, my current situation is I'm having severe money issues, I can't pay for my medications anymore, my pet has an incoming surgery I couldn't even pay for, experienced extreme burnout from interviews/job hunting to the point that I had a nervous breakdown, and I can't get my life together no matter what I did...but no one in my family understands or could empathize with me. I was only blamed, and shamed. I know what I did is wrong but like I said, I would never have done it in the first place if my situation wasn't like this. I've been trying so hard to get out of here but life sucks, and I've been stuck in this downward spiral for so long.
I think I was only used as a supply to keep him from being bored in life, and to take all of his responsibilities. He needed a game buddy, I was there. He's bored, and wants to go out, he would ask me because I was conveniently there. Now that he's got a wife, she's his new supply now even though they are both narcissists. By discarding the gifts I gave him, I just have been discarded too. It just upsets me that they're doing all these petty things. But he's still secretly hoovering, giving me looks, trying to know what I've been up to lately. But still, I guess those years that were together meant nothing to him. In my parent's eyes, he will always be the good one who can never do wrong. Time to move on without this prick.
36-40, F
